“She’s such a sweet girl.”
“I promise she’s well behaved when she’s with me.”
“We had a great day. She definitely acts differently when you’re not around.”
Oh sweet child, little do they know.
I get you at your worst.
I get you when the sunny smile that brightened your face just moments ago shifts downward into the deepest scowl.
I get you when your lip starts to quiver and your eyes fill with tears.
I get you when you turn beet red and those splotchy red marks speckle your forehead and neck.
I get you when your fists ball tightly at your sides and your body goes stiff as a board.
I get you when your pint-sized frame hurls itself onto the floor.
I get you when you flail around on the ground, your high-pitched screams piercing the air, and the eardrums of anyone nearby.
I get you when I carry you out of grocery stores, out of restaurants, out of splash pads and playgrounds and parks, out of friends’ houses, out of the car, out of the backyard because it’s time to go inside for dinner.
I get you when I hold you tightly against my body, as you resist me so hard with yours.
I get you at your worst.
I know they stare. I know they talk. I know they judge the pale, sweaty woman wrestling her hysterical child away, hiding tears behind her over-sized sunglasses.
But here’s the thing, child.
I get you at your worst, because you feel comfortable enough with me to show your true emotions.
I get you at your worst, because you trust me enough not to ever leave you.
I get you at your worst, because you don’t have to pretend with me.
I get you at your worst, because I am your
soft place to land. Your home. Your safe haven.
I get you at your worst, because you know without doubt or hesitation that I will love you no matter what you do.
I get you at your worst, because I am your mother.
Which means that when all is said and done, I don’t worry that you are an angel for other people, but not always for me.
Because when you wrap your arms around my neck and snuggle in my arms,
When in a sea of people you have eyes only for me,
When you turn around for a split second, just to make sure I’m there,
When your smile lights up the room when I walk through the door,
When I’m the first face you see in the morning and the last to kiss you goodnight,
I know.
I know I get you at your best, too!
Tag: naughty
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Well She’s Well Behaved For Me
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Here’s Why Your Child Misbehaves Just For You
Have you ever had one of those days where you wonder what you’re doing wrong because your child is so well behaved for everyone else, but isn’t for you?
Challenging behaviour, pushing boundaries, screaming, crying, not listening, shouting, you get the idea.
People will say you’re too soft and need to get tougher.
Or that you’re not disciplining them properly and need to gain more respect.
Or that you have lost control.
Or that you are a rubbish parent.
Want to know what I think?
Its because your child knows you understand them more than anyone else.
It’s because your child knows that they can show frustration, anger and emotions that we all have and you will still unconditionally love and support them.
It’s because your child knows that you’re the one person who can make everything better.
It’s because your child knows you’re the person they can always go to with all of their problems and will never be silenced.
It’s because your child knows that if they want to cry then they can when you’re there.
Next time you pick your child up from nursery or from school where they say they’ve been angels all day and once home their behaviour becomes challenging maybe it’s because they’ve been holding it together all day and with you they can let all of their emotions out. Because they know you are never going anywhere. Because you’re their mum.
So why do they behave differently for you?
It’s not because you’re their soft touch.
It’s because you’re their safe place.
You’re not doing anything wrong, in fact you’re doing everything right. You’ve reassured your child that they can share their feelings with you and that whatever those feelings are, you will love them unconditionally.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Children’s mental wellbeing means the world and I’ve started sharing what I do at home to encourage my kids to talk about their feelings and emotions through play – have a look here www instagram.com/thenofiltermum
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Dear Teacher I’m Sorry You Missed Out On My Awesome Kid
After a tough year. I wrote this.
Dear Teacher
I have heard your complaints, how my child has been bossy.
I have heard you say he did not follow your exact directions.
I have heard you say he wrote his name on a ruler.
I have heard you say he takes some things to the extreme.
I have heard every single one of your complaints.
I have heard you tell me he is below grade level.
I have heard you tell me he is taking advantage of his IEP accommodations.
I have heard the list of members around the table at every IEP meeting yet it all seems a blur when it is over.
I have also heard the doctor say he may not be successful in life.
I have heard a list of diagnoses including Autism, hypotonia, Epilepsy, Dyslexia, Chromosomal abnormalities and even more.
I have heard him cry at night that he has no friends.
I have heard him tell me that even you think he is dumb.
I have heard him tell me that he is too nervous to go to school.
I have heard him cry over homework at 9pm, because he was at various therapies right after school. All because you told him it must be done, you will check, even though we talked about evening therapies multiple times.
What I have not heard is one positive thing about my child this year.
I am sorry that even though you had him for 180 days you missed the amazing child behind those diagnosis’s, you missed the heart behind it.
While that ultimately made our year really tough, you are the one who missed out on an amazing kid. Not all disabilities show on the outside and that is the case with my child. You missed out this time, I hope not next time. Please remember that positive words go farther than negativity. Your students and families see your eye rolls. If it is hard for you, imagine how it is for us. How would you feel if it was your child? We feel your annoyance, it really hurts. I will not apologize because I am not sorry for my child they are working with what they were given. You are there to guide them, help them and be there when they need it. Remember dear teacher, if all kids were the same this world would be pretty boring. I know he will do great things because he is capable of things you never seen possible.
Signed,
The parent of the kid you missed out on
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I am the mom who wonders what is going on in that little head of his
I am the mom who sees her child off to school each morning praying he will have a good day
I am the mom who walks into work with a smile on my face to hide the pain and fear
I am the mom who reluctantly answers the phone when I see the school calling
I am the mom who fights back tears on my way to pick him up because he is in trouble yet again
I am the mom who acts as though I am so highly disappointed in his behavior in front of the school staff yet all I want to do his hold him and make his sadness and pain disappear
I am the mom listens to others tell me it’s a discipline issue, he will grow out of it, he’s just a boy while invisibly rolling my eyes into the back of my head….because they have no idea what they are talking about
I am the mom who walks into school and signs another behavior slip like it’s just another day
I am the mom who spends her school pick time rummaging through the lost and found because he forgot his jacket on the playground…..again
I am the mom who has to leave work abruptly because “he can’t stay here today”
I am the mom who spends hours in school conferences with teachers, counselors and administrators
I am the mom who gets home and cuddles up with him on the couch
I am the mom who holds him when he is having a bad day
I am the mom who wonders what is going on in that little head of his
I am the mom whose heart is pained by what he goes through on a daily basis
I am the mom who lays down with him at night and tells him what a good boy he is and how perfect and loved he is
I am the mom who watches him sleep so calm and sweet and wishes his days could be equally as peaceful
I am the mom who begs and prays for him to just have a happy, easy, enjoyable life
I am the mom who wakes up and does it all over again….for him…because I know his greatness and I know his heart and I understand him and will love him though it all. He is my baby and I will fight for him until my last breath.
Written by Crystal Mikos
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Stop Blaming ASD For Your Childs Behaviour
My son has ASD!!!
ASDers aren’t naughty!?
So you think asders aren’t naughty?
On a meltdown there’s no one to blame.
But when they’re being naughty
Ffs SAY SOMETHING, DEAL WITH IT!
For shame!
My ASDer is naughty at times
You’ll hear me screaming his name
Because I will tell him
When there is blame
And I will tell him again
And Again
Do not make excuses when he is naughty
Meltdowns are NOT the same
You use THE excuse if he is naughty
You will just have just yourself to blame
You will teach him they are one and the same
And you will just have yourself to blame!
Please discipline your ASder, he needs to know the shame.
He cannot do as he pleases
There are rules that he has to follow
and he can’t avoid the blame.
stop telling me it is ASD my child has the same
Do not use his condition as an excuse for being a pain
We understand the meltdown, when life is just too much
explain to others the difference between the two
coz naughty is naughty don’t use ASD as an excuse”.
Author is unknown
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is the name for a range of similar conditions, including Asperger syndrome, that affect a person’s social interaction, communication, interests and behaviour.
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ADHD Is A Made Up Disease Says Mum
ADHD is a made up disease says mum
My little soldier is nine years old he’s called Jacob James.
I always knew something was different about Jacob.
He could never sit still, so easily distracted, barely slept, I was exhausted being his mum, but I was his mummy and I would do anything for him.
At first I just thought James was a hyperactive energy filled boy.
When James started School his teachers picked up on his lack of attention span and told me to see his Gp for a referral.
After extensive tests, therapies and assessments he was finally diagnosed with ADHD.
It was strange, I felt relieved finally there was a reason behind all his actions, finally I had more empathy and understanding.
The school actioned a plan to help James whilst he was as school, I was feeling more hopeful and happy.
That was until I told my mother “mum James has ADHD”.
Now I wasn’t expecting the response I got from my sons nan my own mother:
“ADHD are you kidding me, that boys just naughty, it’s a made up disease, no child in my school or when you were growing up had it, it’s purely bad parenting and lack of discipline, what that boy needs is a hard smack on the bottom”.
Since getting his diagnosis I have seen more and more comments on social media and over heard people in the streets saying similar to my mother.
ADHD diagnosis is not given lightly, a “naughty” child isn’t a child with ADHD.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a group of behavioural symptoms that include inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. Symptoms of ADHD tend to be noticed at an early age and may become more noticeable when a child’s circumstances change, such as when they start school.
My child is not naughty he doesn’t need to be smacked or disciplined he needs understanding and help
Find out more about ADHD here http://adhdsymptoms24.com/?m=1
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