Tag: moan

  • Snowflakes Don’t Get Social Media Or Shut Up

    Stay at home snowflakes, don’t get social media, leave us the hell alone.

    “A snowflake is someone who is easily offended or felt they needed a “safe space” away from the harsh realities of the world, but now has morphed into a general putdown for anyone that complains about any subject”.

    I am fed up of bloody snowflakes, can’t say anything without someone get offended, like seriously what has happened to the world that everything upsets someone.

    Can’t ask if someones baby is a boy or girl as some weirdos want to let their child decide what gender they will be, we must refer to them at theybies, BULL SHIT, your baby either has a penis or it don’t! What is so wrong with being a girl or a boy.

    Can’t criticise someones behaviour even if they are being a total cock just in case they have a disability or a rough childhood, Mate if someone is urinating up my car what should I do, bloody smile and them and ask them if they are ok, according to snowflakes I should be more understanding of other people’s needs, oh fuck a duck dear, my car has rights to, the right not to have some cretin piss up it.

    Please for the love of all things sane stop getting your knickers in a twist, yes things piss me off (often) but I don’t need to constantly throw the “bullying” card around or the this offends me line or the best one ever “you need Jesus” nah pal he needs me.

    If you get that upset and need a poxy trigger warning above each post you clearly are too highly strung to be able to cope with social media, take up knitting Barbara Big Balls.

    Vegans go home, Breast is best SHUT UP we know, genderless kids oh bore off.

    You bunch of melts its time you lived in the real world, no one will ever have the same views on some subjects and you forcing your shit down our throats won’t change a thing.

  • You Made Your Own Worst Critics And They Call You Mum

    I don’t remember my “what to expect when expecting book” mentioning that when you become a parent your every move is judged by your worst critics, and you made them!!!

    I always thought I was a pretty, cool and a fit mum, ok yes I admit it I have a bit of flab but haven’t we all, as my children have got older I seem to be wearing less make up, and my clothes are no longer the latest fashion, but I am by no means an old bag lady.

    Three year old son “mummy your tummy is like jelly haha” okay I take that on the chin, thanks for that son, awesome confidence boost Not.

    But nothing can compare to my 11-year-old fashion diva…

    “Don’t walk like that mum”

    “You can’t wear that”

    “You are too old for that”

    and the best one is “that is so 2017 no one uses that word/dance/dab anymore”, I had only just got up to date with all the lingo and cool moves and now they are out dated arghh.

     Then there are the groans, the funny little noises to show their disapproval. I daren’t even tell them I am really trying my best to be my most ‘normal’ self, there is SO much craziness I am hiding, so many fashion disasters that I can’t bring myself to throw away.

    But hey kiddos wait til you have your own children, you will have your own mini critics, and you will miss everything I used to do for you, so throw your insults at me, I know I’m hip, I know one day you will be a “jelly belly” a fashion disaster and a piggy porkie, sausage hawker!!! Good luck kiddo!

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