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I’m Sorry That When He Left Me, He Also Made The Decision To Leave You Too
An open letter to my children
My daling children I am sorry, I’m sorry you have faced years of disappointment; and have yet another lifetime to come. I’m sorry I didn’t realise your father wasn’t a good man untill it was too late; I’m sorry the start of your lives were filled with so much hate and anger. I’m sorry you will never remember we were once a family unit; a broken one granted. But still a unit.
I’m sorry you will never remember that mummy tried. I really did; I tried ever so hard. I fought continuously for you all. For us to be happy. But unfortunately your father just could not be a part of that.
I’m sorry that when he left me, he also made the decision to leave you too. I’m sorry that for him to break away, he had to break you too. And I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from the years of disappointment. The crying at the window wondering why daddy never came.
I’m sorry I made a selfish decision; to cut him out for good when you were only 2 and 3 years old. I’m sorry that even though that decision protects you from pain; that it also hides you away from part of who you are.
I’m sorry you have questions, that I just cannot answer. I’m sorry that the men who will teach you to be well, men. Weren’t the man who gave you life. I’m sorry he missed out on all of the most important and invaluable moments of your sweet little lives. And I’m sorry he missed out on the ‘small and insignificant’ factors. Such as your favourite food.
I’m sorry he will never be a part of the beautiful and respectful gentlemen you will grow into. And that he will never play a role in helping you succeed and strive in life.
I do however promise you;
I will always do my best
I will always stand by your side
I will never walk away
No matter how hard it gets I will always support you.
I will guide you in life as best I can, but always with your best interests at heart.
I will probably make mistakes along the way, hell I’ll probably mess up on a daily basis. But please always know; I’ve loved you unconditionally, and I will be here for you no matter the condition. You are my motivation, my reason to carry on. And I will forever be grateful to you both for saving my life.
And I’m not sorry, for protecting you from being destroyed. The way he destroyed me. I am not sorry for protecting you from a monster.
Even if that monster gave you life. — Credit Kayleigh Jade.
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I Left My Baby To Die Alone In The Cold
I’m 62 with a husband, 2 grown children and a grandmother to 4 I have a car and a mortgage and to the world a typical happy mum and grandmother but none of them know my secret and they never will. The shame of anyone knowing would kill me and tear my family apart. Nobody can ever know that I killed my baby.
Please don’t judge me before you know my story.
I was brought up in a strict religious family. My parents were very loving and I had a happy childhood but our lives revolved around the church. school, mass on Sundays the works I never knew any different all my friends families were the same it was normal right until I met Craig.
I was 14 and had never had a boyfriend before, he was cute and funny and had all this freedom that I had never known. I quickly fell in love. My parents would never have let us date. Craig was 17 had left school and was at college being older he had more experience than me, I’d never even kissed a boy!
We would meet in secret whenever possible and one day we had sex. We had fooled around but never done the deed never even talked about it so we didn’t use contraception foolishly thinking I couldn’t get pregnant the first time right.
Two months later after missing another period we did a test and it came back positive I thought Craig loved me but he never spoke to me again. I was now 15 pregnant and alone. My parents would have gone crazy and I would have been an outcast from my family and friends I didn’t know what to do. I tried ignoring it hoping it would go away that the test was wrong but my slowly swelling belly told me different so I hid my little problem.
I would take sanitary towels and through them away so my mom would think I was getting my period, pass morning sickness off as exam nerves and hide under loose baggy clothes. I spent hours hiding in my room pretending to study but really I was trying to work out what to do. Then one night in december the pains started and my water broke. It hurt so much and I was scared.
I waited until my parents went to bed before sneaking out. I started walking and the pains grew stronger and I found myself at my church. I needed to push so I snuck round the side out of view and gave birth to my beautiful son. I was terrified all of a sudden it was real. I managed to cut the cord and wrapped him in my cardigan but i couldn’t take him home.
So I left him on the steps of the church I thought someone would find him and take him home. I quietly snuck back home and cried all night wanting my baby. The next day I pretended to be ill so I could watch the news of the good Samaritan who found my baby instead I saw the news report of a body being found of a newborn baby.
That night around dinner we prayed for the soul of the baby and my parents dammed the evil mother who murdered her child. I knew then I couldn’t tell them the truth instead I have lived with my secret ever since.
Please don’t judge me too harshly I was a young girl with nowhere to turn besides nobody could judge me more than I do, I am now in my early 60’s and urge any young girl out there who is pregnant and scared to reach out to someone to get help!
Emailed into us under a false name
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Should The Safe Haven Law Be Introduced In The UK?
Should the safe haven law be introduced in the uk?
For those of you who aren’t aware what safe haven is it is a law in the United states where anyone can abandon their baby at a designated point and hand over all responsibilities of the baby to the state.
According to sources as many as 50 newborns are abandoned in the uk every year with many dying from the cold or exposure so is it time to bring the safe haven law here to the uk?
Since its arrival in 1999 the safe haven law has saved thousands of babies from injury or even death as they are no longer abandoned in bins, alleys and roadsides in the United states but does this law encourage women to not use contraception or be responsible?
The safe haven law allows mothers to take their babies to locations such as fire stations, hospitals, police stations, churches and baby boxes. Places that are manned 24 hours a day, without risk of prosecution for child endangerment or abandonment.
Would further sexual education be a better option? All women over the age of 12 be given compulsory contraception unless trying to conceive? Many women get pregnant accidentally for many reasons such as contraception failure or rape and go on to ignore’ the signs or hide the pregnancy until it’s too late and end up despairing about what to do with the secret baby.
Introducing this law would surely help those woman to frightened or not willing to raise a baby to make sure that the baby would be cared for in a safe environment or would it bring a rise in abandoned babies to the uk?
Mums advice spoke with several mums about their views on this and the may point they brought up was how would the UK be able to afford these points being manned 24 hours a day, what if the mum changed her mind would she be able to get the baby back? It was also added that mother who leaves their child needs to be seen incase she is in crisis and needs help.
Let us know your views in the comments
