Tag: laugh

Ode to my bladder

Enjoy!

Ode to my bladder

My bladder and I were always friends, and she would never leak,

But since we’ve have this baby, she’s just become so very weak.

I’m sorry that your space was invaded, and you were squashed up god knows where,

I think you think I didn’t notice, or that I didn’t care.

I know that you’ve been in overdrive, working very hard,

So you’re probably a little fragile and feeling rather scarred.

But now that things have settled, I’d really like to say,

Take a chill pill bladder, so that you don’t ruin my day.

Remember when I used to laugh, and things would be just fine,

Now when someone makes me laugh, I’m weeing all the time.

And as for when I have a cough, you choose not to play along,

I have to cross my legs, so everyone knows what’s wrong.

Jumping on a bouncy castle, I used to have such fun,

But now I know a bouncy castle, is not for a newborns mum.

You know that I’m a violent sneezer, it happens rather a lot,

But if you could just please stop me weeing, then I won’t loose the plot.

So I’m sorry that in my pregnancy, our friendship went a miss,

But please let me enjoy myself, without having to take a piss.

Reply from my bladder…

Look at you kicking off, I can’t help it if I leak, I’m not the one who got pregnant, it’s not my fault I’m weak

Without a care for me, you decided to have a baby,

I told you it was stupid and I thought that you were crazy

You made me work so hard, like 5 times through the night,

I knew I was exhausted, and boy how I was right

Things would not have been so bad if only you’d have listened,

If you’d have done your exercises, tenna ladies would not be christened

You were told to look after your pelvic floor, then all would be just fine,

But you did not do it properly, and now the fault is mine.

And then you had a csection, so a catheter was needed,

And I didn’t want it, I begged you and I pleaded

So quite frankly it’s all your fault and I have been through hell,

And I don’t want to wee all the time, in case you couldn’t tell

So help me to get stronger, that would just be bliss,

And then you won’t get so embarrassed every time I piss

Credit https://www.facebook.com/tellingthetruthtomums/