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Tag: Judge
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@_minwi_ Liebe sie #mum #mama #bestemama #fun #lachen #lachflash #judge #judgen…
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As A Carer You’ll Watch Me Do Things And Instantly Judge Me
As a Carer you’ll watch me do things and instantly judge me for them, you’ll look down your nose and see me as nothing more than someone that deals with other people’s body fluids and makes cups of tea.
You’ll wonder why I can walk out of a room and instantly into another, forgetting that I may have promised your relative a blanket or a cup of water because I was “distracted” by someone else.
You’ll wonder why I’ve walked past your relatives room and not entered theirs, you’ll wonder why some people are attended to sooner and you’ll curse my name under your breath as they wait.
You’ll wonder how I seem to have time to sit down and write and wonder why I cannot fix things immediately.
You’ll wonder how, under any circumstance, I could be sharing a smile or a laugh with a co-worker as if laughter has no place.
As I walk in for my shift, you’ll look at me, your eyes saying that you want me to help and you’ll wonder why I can’t just make that happen.
But here’s what, if you’re very lucky, you’ll never see.
You’ll never see me lose. You’ll never see me take off my sweaty gloves and say a goodbye to someone I’ve cared for for months or even years
You’ll never see the weight that we carry home. For minutes or hours, days, or weeks, or even lifetimes.
You’ll never see our children’s faces as we kiss them goodbye on Christmas morning so that we can make it a special day for your family member.
You’ll never see the deep breath we take as we walk into a room to prepare a loved one before family enter to say their last goodbye.
You’ll never see our hearts ache with the pain for those we have nursed and passed and those that continue to battle.
You’ll never see our minds as they tirelessly overthink and overwork scenarios, wondering how or if we could do something better next time.
You’ll never see us break the news that someone’s husband or wife, that they have been married to for 50 plus years has died because they have forgotten again, you’ll never see us comfort them as they cry.
And for the most part, I’m okay that you can’t see those things. It’s my job to do, my burden to carry, and my labor of love and service so that you don’t have to, so that the relationship you have remains as it always has been, so that you don’t have to become their Carer. I’ll take on that role for you.
However, I’ll be honest, there are times that I wish you could understand the alternative to your relative that’s waiting. There are times I wish you understood the difference between urgency and emergency. And there are certainly times that I wish I could be transparent enough to tell you when your relative dies it breaks our hearts too.
If you know, or love a Carer please do me a favor and just give them a hug. Or maybe a fist bump if hugging isn’t their thing, or maybe even just a nod of approval but more anything please remember were more than just bottom cleaners and tea makers.
We’re working as hard and as fast as we can, and most days, it’s never enough.”
Credit https://www.facebook.com/rosieann93
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Look At This White Girl, Tryin To Wrap Her Head Lookin All Stupid
Dear McDonald’s worker who will probably never see this….,
Ur drive thru windows aren’t sound proof. Ur probably wondering y I had tears in my eyes when u handed me my iced coffee… or maybe not, judging by the words u said after handing me my oatmeal…
“Look at this white girl, tryin to wrap her head. Lookin all stupid”
As u and ur coworker laughed and passed judgement on my poor head wrap job, I hope ur day gets better. I went to McDonald’s for an iced coffee and oatmeal to try to make my day better, but u made it worse. I hope u never get sick. I hope ur healthy and thriving for ur life. I hope ur family members r healthy and happy. Cuz I didnt wrap my head to try to be anything in particular… I wrapped it cuz I shaved my head when my hair was falling out from chemo and having a baby, and yesterday my stepson told me he liked it. I wrapped it cuz the scarf was given to me from a woman at the office I get radiation treatments from. I also wrapped it cuz I haven’t showered in 2 days cuz I’m a mom who is still trying to figure out how to juggle everything.
So, thank you for reminding me to be careful with my words… and to not judge a book by the cover.💜
Sincerely,
That “stupid white girl”
**edit** I love that my friends and family members have commented and messaged asking which one so they can call and take up for me, but I really posted this as a reminder to be kind- not to get anyone in trouble or to have them inadvertently lose their job that pays their bills. So, please… just be kind!
Love your neighbor as yourself Mark 12:31💜💜
Credit https://www.facebook.com/1leggeddiva
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It’s Okay To Find Your Kids Annoying
I was at the grocery today with the kids when I probably said a little too loudly, NOT in my nice mom voice, “You know I love you very much, but you’re REALLY annoying me today.”
Right then a young couple walked by, presumably with no kids because the man uttered, “Well that was brutally honest.”
To which I replied with a sickening sweet smile, “Well they ARE being brutally annoying.”
And of course a lovely elderly woman strolled by and chimed in, “They grow up fast…you’re going to miss this someday.”
Really? REALLY? You think I’m going to miss being tortured by two kids in a grocery store someday?
After they fought alllllll morning and had their water guns thrown away because they wouldn’t stop shooting each other in the eyes. Not to mention one was grounded for an hour, and I had to rip them apart not once, but twice prior to the produce aisle because they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other!
I promise, I won’t miss THIS part of motherhood. And I really think people need to be a little more supportive and a little less critical of mothers, especially in stores.
Of course we love them, they are hilarious, sweet, loving, adorable, and fun to be around. But sometimes they act like a**hats and we lose it. And it’s OK to not love every part of motherhood.
It’s OK to not want to read that same book again tonight.
It’s OK to lock yourself in your room and binge watch The Great British Baking Show.
It’s OK to run out after the grocery store and leave your kids with your husband because you need an hour of alone tome at the nail salon.
And it’s totally OK to tell your kids they’re being annoying in Public when you’ve already broken up 19 fights before you got to the store, and they are STILL wrestling like bear cubs while you’re trying to shuck corn!
What’s not OK is to judge another mother or say something to her that isn’t helpful – when she’s clearly at the end of her rope.
So if you see someone like me someday in public and think, “She’s really on edge.” Maybe, I don’t know…offer her encouragement. 🤷♀️
Like, “You’re doing a great job mama!” 👊🏼
But please spare us the side eyes, glares and snide comments. We are doing the best we can – and sometimes kids need a dose of reality from the person that loves them the fiercest.
Also my gel manicure was lovely and now I’m ready to go home and snuggle.
As long as they still aren’t being annoying.
(You can read more HERE–> https://kristenhewitt.me/its-ok-to-not-love-every-part-of-motherhood-especially-taking-kids-to-the-grocery-store/
Or follow my podcast on ITunes or Spotify https://kristenhewitt.me/podcast-home/)
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Most Of You Don’t Know Her But She Is Important
Most of you don’t know who this is but she is important.
Her name is Latasha Harlins. In 1991, at the ripe age of 15, Latasha went to her local Korean owned food mart and never made it out. The store owner’s wife, Soon Ja Du, mistook her for trying to steal a bottle of orange juice and a minor struggle ensued.
Du grabbed Latasha and ended up getting pushed to the ground. Du then went and got her gun and pointed it at Latasha. Latasha bends down, picks up the orange juice, and places it on the counter.
As Latasha had walked away to leave the store, Du shot Latasha in the back of the head at a 3 foot distance, killing her immediately. Du tried to claim self defense, but there were 2 eyewitnesses and the store’s security camera showed otherwise. The jury convicted Du and advised the judge to go with the maximum sentence of 16 years. Du walked away with 400 hours of community service, 5 years probation, and a $500 fine, as the judge said although Mrs. D acted inappropriately, her actions were justified.
Judge Joyce Karlin states that Mrs. Du was the victim, Latasha is the criminal and would be standing in front of her for assault on a store clerk had she not died. The slaughter of Latasha Harlins is one of major factors in the initiating of the LA Riots. We only hear about Rodney King but she is the original #SayHerName.
Tupac had an affinity for Latasha and has mentioned her name in several songs as well as dedicated the iconic song “Keep Ya Head Up” to Latasha. So today we say Latasha Harlins, you’re a pillar baby girl, whether they realize or not. And today, someone heard ya story❤️
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So You Think You Can Parent My ADHD Child Better Than Me?
Don’t Judge…..
You must think I cannot hear you,
You must think I cannot see,
But I am just a mum, of a child with ADHD.
You think you could parent him better,
That you could “sort him out”,
That it’s discipline he’s lacking,
And he just needs a good clout,
You do not understand or know him,
But yet you stand there and judge,
I take a deep breath and smile at you,
And hold not a grudge,
I’ve built up broad shoulders,
Become stronger than I ever thought I could,
Not a choice I consciously made,
It’s what I’ve done for love.
My child may be impulsive,
Loud and always on the go,
But there is so much more amazingness to him,
That I would love for you to know.
He doesn’t have a filter,
Or a mechanism to make him stop and think,
But It’s not his choice to behave that way,
His brains messages’ are on the blink.
He pretends to you he’s big and tough,
Causing him at times to be too rough,
To hide the hurt he keeps inside,
You don’t have to hear him cry or find he’s googled ways to die.
ADHD isn’t something made up,
To excuse behaviour or a parenting mess up,
It’s months of countless tests and appointments,
And lots of despair,
Meetings with professionals that can get too much to bear.
It breaks my heart when he cries, and asks “why me? Why can’t I be ‘normal’ and then I’ll be happy?”
He just wants to fit in,
And hates standing out,
But I tell him, “your special,
That’s what ADHD is all about,”
Don’t you think he’s aware of the things he does wrong?
And understand his class clown act, is him trying to belong?
There’s no one I know that punishes themselves more,
I don’t want him to feel that ADHD is a flaw.
You don’t see the struggles that he daily has to face,
The world to him is a heightened challenging place.
He is incredibly clever,
And so desperate for you to see,
But the sensory overload just won’t leave him be.
He has the biggest heart, and the fastest brain,
That just takes more time, nurture and understanding to train.
It’s a disability he lives with,
Just one you can’t see,
Making your lack of empathy so unjustified to me.
Full Credit Tracey Loxam
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When A Mother Says Shes’s Tired That’s All She Meant
When a mother says she’s tired, that’s all she meant!
She did not say she wants to drop her child and forget that he or she exists.
When a mother says she wanted some time alone, just her, that’s all she meant!
She didn’t say she’s sorry to be a mother and that motherhood was a mistake in her life.
When a mother says she needs help to get things done, that’s exactly what she meant!
She is not saying that she is incapable.
When a mother makes noodles for dinner, it does not mean she does noodles every day of the week and that her son/daughter is a child who does not know vegetables and meats.
When you arrive at a mother’s house and face disorganization, it doesn’t mean that every day that house is disorganized.
When a mother says she’d love to go out with her friends, that’s all she meant! She doesn’t want to go back to being “Single / not a mother” and like it as if she had no responsibility.
When a mother says she’s worried and afraid, that’s what she meant! She didn’t say she’s going to falter, and much less she’s a coward.
When you listen to a mother screaming, it doesn’t mean she just screams, probably she has spoken 300 times with normal voice tone.
When you see a nervous mother, on the edge of madness, doesn’t mean every day she’s in that situation.
There is a whole context, a whole situation.
Do not invent untruths to judge someone, let alone a woman who every day, at all times, gives up her own life to live the life of another being that she knows is much more important than her.
In the world there is no human being able to give up and donate as much as a mother!
And they deserve a lot of understanding and fewer trials. ✍️💖
Credit Charity Beth
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YES I Will Judge Your Parenting
Yes I will judge your parenting and no i am not by any means a perfect parent everyone makes mistakes, I wont judge you if you look a mess, your hairs not brushed or your child is crying or having a temper tantrum these are all normal parts of parenting.
I however will judge you if i see you giving your baby coca cola in a bottle, adding rice or cereal into their bottle to help them sleep more, come on choking risk or an extra hour in bed, I know which one I would prefer.
You wearing name brand clothes, warm winter coats,gloves, scarf and a pair of uggs whilst your child is sat in a dirty pram with no socks or shoes on, dirty stained top and no coat, heck yes I will judge away, ill stand up and say something.
Putting your seat belt on in the car for your own safety whilst your tiny baby is forward facing or sat on someones lap, I will educate you on safe car seat laws.
If you go on holiday abroad 2 or 3 times a year with your friends or partner whilst your kids are lucky to get a weekend in a caravan I will judge you and ignore your lame excuses.
If you refuse vaccinations for your child you my dear are a moron, vaccinations were made to protect children and adults from deadly diseases, someone please explain to me why the government would make something (for free in the UK) to harm children.
Judging other parents is totally and utterly acceptable if the parents are idiots, don’t wean your baby at 3 months, don’t risk their lives, dont put them in harm’s way and dont put yourself before them, I would hope someone would have the courage to tell me if I am doing something that places my child at risk.
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As A Carer You Will Instantly Judge Me
As a Carer you’ll watch me do things and instantly judge me for them, you’ll look down your nose and see me as nothing more than someone who deals with other people’s body fluids and makes cups of tea.
You’ll wonder why I can walk out of a room and instantly into another, forgetting that I may have promised your relative a blanket or a cup of water because I was “distracted” by someone else.
You’ll wonder why I’ve walked past your relatives room and not entered theirs, you’ll wonder why some people are attended to sooner and you’ll curse my name under your breath as they wait.
You’ll wonder how I seem to have time to sit down and write and wonder why I cannot fix things immediately.
You’ll wonder how, under any circumstance, I could be sharing a smile or a laugh with a co-worker as if laughter has no place.
As I walk in for my shift, you’ll look at me, your eyes saying that you want me to help and you’ll wonder why I can’t just make that happen.
But here’s what, if you’re very lucky, you’ll never see.
You’ll never see me lose. You’ll never see me take off my sweaty gloves and say a goodbye to someone I’ve cared for for months or even years
You’ll never see the weight that we carry home. For minutes or hours, days, or weeks, or even lifetimes.
You’ll never see our children’s faces as we kiss them goodbye on Christmas morning so that we can make it a special day for your family member.
You’ll never see the deep breath we take as we walk into a room to prepare a loved one before family enter to say their last goodbye.
You’ll never see our hearts ache with the pain for those we have nursed and passed and those that continue to battle.
You’ll never see our minds as they tirelessly over think and overwork scenarios, wondering how or if we could do something better next time.
You’ll never see us break the news that someone’s husband or wife, that they have been married to for 50 plus years has died because they have forgotten again, you’ll never see us comfort them as they cry.
And for the most part, I’m okay that you can’t see those things. It’s my job to do, my burden to carry, and my labor of love and service so that you don’t have to, so that the relationship you have remains as it always has been, so that you don’t have to become their Carer. I’ll take on that role for you.
However, I’ll be honest, there are times that I wish you could understand the alternative to your relative that’s waiting. There are times I wish you understood the difference between urgency and emergency. And there are certainly times that I wish I could be transparent enough to tell you when your relative dies it breaks our hearts too.
If you know, or love a Carer please do me a favor and just give them a hug. Or maybe a fist bump if hugging isn’t their thing, or maybe even just a nod of approval but more anything please remember we’re more than just bottom cleaners and tea makers.
We’re working as hard and as fast as we can, and most days, it’s never enough.”
Original source unknown
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Why I Will Not Judge Your Parenting
WHY I WILL NOT JUDGE YOUR PARENTING ❤️
I’m too damn busy.
I’m too busy making mistakes and praying my kids turn out alright anyway.
I’m too busy looking at my musty smelling laundry pile and wondering if I should fold it or light it all on fire.
I’m too busy teaching my kids good work ethics which means saying “stop playing and keep cleaning” over and over until everyone is crying.
I’m too busy yelling that everyone needs to STOP YELLING and then wondering if I will ever be able to stop yelling. It’s not really looking good for any of us.
I’m too busy letting my three-year-old use a pacifier and my six-year-old wear Cinderella underwear as a bathing suit.
I’m too busy trying not to fight with my husband in front of the kids even though sometimes we make each other crazy (ESPECIALLY IN THE CAR). I say trying, because last week my three-year-old asked me why daddy and I sometimes argue like little kids.
I’m too busy wondering if that wet spot is from water, juice, or urine.
I’m too busy trying to assess if that Pterodactyl scream was a “we’re having fun” scream or a “blood has been shed” scream.
I’m too busy making risky calls like should I let my son wear that shirt with spaghetti sauce on it to church, and do I tell my girls that it’s actually a “vagina” not a “bagina”, even though bagina is way more awesome?
I’m too damn busy apologizing to my kids. I’m apologizing for misunderstanding them, for getting grumpy, for bumping their head on a doorway, for not believing them that their tummy hurt until they projectile vomited, and for throwing away that ginormous popsicle stick art project they brought home from school.
I’m too busy apologizing FOR my kids, like, “sorry they ate all your snacks and asked you if there’s a baby in your belly”.
I’m too busy being overwhelmed by the fact that it’s already dinner time AGAIN and the food is still at the grocery store.
I’m too busy because this parenting gig is flying by at lightning speed and I’m hanging on for dear life, hoping that when it’s over they will look back and say “we were loved”.
I’m not going to judge your parenting because IT’S HARD and YOU are the qualified one.
I’m not qualified because I don’t worry about your kids like you do. I don’t lie awake at night wrestling with decisions about schools, and friends, and behaviors, and obstacles in their precious lives. I don’t love them, ache for them, feed them, or say sorry to them like you do. I don’t know them. I don’t know their dreams or what makes them tick.
I’m eleven years in and I am now more certain than ever that there isn’t “one way” to do this well. I’m just trying to figure out how to parent my own kids and how many margaritas I can have without getting a hangover. Life is complicated.
If we can’t be real and share the struggle, then it just doesn’t work for me.
I’m a fan of all MOMS.
I’m too damn busy for anything else.
Full credit to wonderoak.com, Facebook/wonderoak/ and https://www.instagram.com/wonderoakblog/ on Instagram