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Tag: joke

  • Rude Joke Of The Day

    A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.

    She heard the train stop and her son saying, ‘All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, ‘cos we’re in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, ‘cos we’re going down the tracks’.

    The horrified mother went in and told her son, ‘We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for

    TWO HOURS.

    When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.’

    Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,

    ‘All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.

    We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.’

    She hears the little boy continue,

    ‘For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.

    We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.’

    As the mother began to smile, the child added……….

    ‘For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.

    Credit Alan peacock

  • Rude Joke Of The Day 1 Minute Read

    Rude joke of the day 1 minute read

    A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

    The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, ” I am a Father.”

    The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”

    The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many.”

    The boy said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”

    The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.

    The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,”Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.”

    Would you like to share your own joke, or a true, inspirational,heart breaking or funny story?

    Are you trying to raise awareness of any topic (does not have to be parenting related) or would you like to remain anonymous and want us to raise awareness on your behalf?

    Are you thinking of advertising on our website and or Facebook page and would like to know our rates?

    Do you think your new or established blog may be of interest to our readers? (credit is always given and links can be added) If you answered yes to any of the above questions please send us a short email to us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • What Is Wrong With Me Having A Large Family

    Children are a blessing. We say it but don’t speak it. I am guilty of this as well.

    I scroll through Facebook and see people joking about being pregnant and joking about not being pregnant. The newest joke is who can make it through the summer without getting pregnant. When I go places, my life seems to be a joke to many. A joke about not owning a television or having anything better to do all because I have five children and i am pregnant with my sixth.

    When and why did we start taking life into our own hands?

    The other day I was at the supermarket standing in line waiting to pay. The sweet cashier congratulated me on my 6th baby. The woman checking out turned to me and said, “oh sweetie there is a sale on Tv’s here, far cheaper than having children!”

    I was pretty shocked. It was supposed to be funny, but why? Why is it common humor to joke about not wanting more children?

    I understand children are hard. They make us sacrifice dreams and desires we had planned out. But I have never met a family that said they wished they never had their last child. Every single child has been a blessing. Every parent says that they can’t imagine life without every single child.

    So why is it that we joke so much about having or not having children?

     Everywhere we turn, pregnancy is made a joke and looked down on, people also assume that they must all have different fathers or I am doing it for the money (we don’t claim anything other than child benefits).

    So where did we go wrong? Why is life no longer celebrated? Why is life now limited when it was once begged for?

    I think the first place we need to start is in our words. Are we encouraging people to value life? Are we making inappropriate jokes about someone else’s new pregnancy or telling them it is time to stop?

    The first step to valuing life is watching what we joke about.

  • Hilarious Love Island Memes!

    Love Island is back!

    The smash hit reality tv show is FINALLY back on our screens and is set to be another triumph!

    Already the internet is full of jokes, memes and posts all about these epic Islanders!

    These are a few memes we think will make any Love Island fan LOL!!!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • when someone tells a funny joke

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  • is this some kind of joke

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  • is this a sick joke

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  • Heartbroken…… My 12 Year Old Son Is Gay

    Heartbroken. …….my son is gay

    My baby boy my youngest child is gay and yes I’m heartbroken not by the fact his gay but by how I found out .

    I’ve always known my son was never a lads lad he was never into football he liked dancing he would prefer to paint his nails and play with hair then go outside to kick a ball about .

    From such a very early age he had such good taste in clothes the outfits he would pick to wear always matched I used to joke with him you’re my little gay boy which he always replied ohh mum I’ve got a girl friend.

    I’ve always spoke to him about his feelings and we would joke about being gay never once meant in a nasty way in just a way to try to help him feel more comfortable about his sexuality and that when he decided to come out I would hope he would tell me but this is why I’m heartbroken he never came out to me I found out by his school teacher who called me and she explained to me about my 12-year-old son and that prehaps I should talk to him.

    Heartbroken...... My 12 Year Old Son Is Gay
    Heartbroken…… My 12 Year Old Son Is Gay

    So straight after the phone call I went upstairs to my son and gave him a hug and told him how proud I was of him and I asked him why he didn’t tell me was it because I always joked about it his reply was “no mum it’s coz you’re proud of me and I know you would want to announce to everyone I’m gay but I would like to tell people first”

    So yes I’m heartbroken on how I found out but omg I so bloody proud of son xx

    I also am so proud of my daughter Mackensie who is slightly older than her brother for making him feel safe at school and showing him how truly awesome he is.

    I am blessed with two confident happy and caring children what more could a mother want? I love my Children more than life it’s self, every day they make me realise what true happiness is, I wouldn’t change anything about either of them from the second they were born i discovered what true love is.

     

  • The Joke Is Fire

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  • You Should NEVER Say This to a Pregnant Woman!

    Pregnancy is a magical experience, bringing new life into the world is truly a gift.

    However, pregnant women are generally an emotional bag of crazy and should not be messed with!

    These are 10 things you should NEVER say to pregnant women unless you are prepared for a tongue lashing!

    1. Are you sure you’re not having twins?

    Seriously! We know we look enormous and this is in no way a subtle reminder!

     

    2. You look like you’re really done.

    Why not say what you really mean… “You look like shit!” Thanks mate, already know and frankly don’t need to be told!

     

    3. You are HUGE!

    See point number 1! It is NEVER ok to call a women fat and let’s face it that’s what it feels like we are being called!

     

    4. You look farther along than five/six/seven/eight months. I’m sure you’ll go early.

    What do you expect from this? “Oh no really? I guess the doctors and midwives got it wrong. Thank goodness you’ve helped so much!” No. Don’t say it.

     

    5. You’re carrying really low/high/wide etc…

    You wouldn’t comment on how a non pregnant persons weight is being carried so don’t comment on ours and expect a pleasant response!

     

    6. I’m sure it’s a boy/girl.

    Just don’t. Really don’t. If we wanted to know the gender we’d find out at a scan. If we didn’t we wouldn’t. We don’t need every nosey Nelly telling us what they think when, let’s face it, everyone has 50% chance of being right!

     

    7. You look like you’re ready to pop!

    And we feel it too. But babies come when they are ready, so no need to remind me mine isn’t yet!

     

    8. I hope you can get your figure back.

    *deep inhale*

     

    9. I had the worst labour ever. Never want to do what again.

    Thanks for the support! Just what we needed, a helpful reminder of the hellish pain we’ll soon be going through.

     

    10. Better sleep now while you can!

    Are you for real? You think sleeping while pregnant is easy or fun? We need to pee every 20 minutes, the baby seems to be having a kickboxing lesson and the heartburn wants to drown us as soon as we lay down. So yeah we’ll sleep when we can. Thanks for the tip!

     

     

    What are some of the things you hated people saying to you while you were pregnant?

    Let us know in the comments.