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Tag: ignorance

  • Tonight I Cried With Him, He Didn’t Ask To Be Autistic

    Tonight, I cried with him…

    To the lady in the bathroom:

    Know that words hurt.. They ran deep to my soul tonight.. Why? I’m not sure as I’m usually this “strong person” and can “handle anything”, but tonight, your words hurt..

    ::Back Story::

    Tonight was Tatum’s last night of swimming lessons. As a treat, they always let the kids jump off the diving boards if they want. So, after many jumps off the edge, Tatum FINALLY jumped off the board.. ALL.BY.HIMSELF.. This was HUGE as this is something he typically would be wayyy to scared to do. Unfortunately, because he jumped off the side for way to long, he only got a few rounds of the diving board before class was over.

    He was mad. He kicked. He screamed. He yelled. He bawled.

    I tried calming him down in the pool, however, he wasn’t having it. So we got out.

    He was mad. He kicked. He screamed. He yelled. He bawled, all the way into the shower room where we got dressed. I was trying –everything– in my will power to calm him down. I couldn’t do it.

    This.Is.Autism…

    20 minutes go by with NO behavior change. He was still mad. He was still kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. I just kept saying, “Tatum, you need to calm down!”

    Finally, a moment where he listened to me as I calmly said in a low voice, “Tatum, you need to calm down and listen to Mommy”…

    In this moment of calm, I overheard a Mom say to another Mom, “Glad that’s not my kid, I’d beat his ass.” <—- and that my friends is when I started bawling…

    You see, I didn’t “intend” for my child to get this disability. It is a struggle every.single.day.. He doesn’t know “calm”.. He fights until he no longer physically can. Somedays that’s 20 minutes, somedays that’s an hour.. And multiple times a day at that.. I wish I could help him, but I can’t….

    But, let me tell you what…. Joining in his world of chaos and “beating his ass” won’t make it any better.

    I cried with you tonight Tatum. Mama can only be so strong. People can be so rude. Especially people who have never dealt with a disability.

    So.. After calming down, on both our parts, I asked Tatum if he was ready to go home for the night.. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and said, “Tatum naughty, sorry Mommy!”

    You are NOT naughty little boy. We will learn how to calm down in stressful situations one way or another.. It will take us several tries to see what way works best for us, but I promise, we will figure it out. Don’t EVER think you are “naughty” for not knowing how to be calm.

    And to the woman in the bathroom, I pray for you. I pray that you NEVER have a child with a disability. I pray that you know how to calm your babies each and everyday in every situation. I pray that your babies never act out in public.. But most of all, I pray that you think of my little boy tonight. I pray that God shows you how much you hurt me. I am strong for my little man, but tonight I wasn’t, and that’s because of your hurtful words. He saw my pain, he saw my weakness, and I’m NOT ok with that. I am his rock. I am supposed to remain calm while he’s not. And I wish you would have to and kept your words to yourself.

    ::Remember::

    We all have hearts, and we all have feelings. Even the “strongest” of us get hurt

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/erica.davis.9212301

     

  • To The Person Who Said Yeah Right That’s Not A Service Dog

    This is to the rude person that said to their child (after their child said “look daddy, a service dog!”) “yeah right, that’s not a real service dog.” And to the woman who said “Looks like anyone can put a vest on their dog and call it a service dog these days.” And to the many others who have given me rude comments and dirty looks. You judge me without even knowing me.

    Don’t I look fine? I look like I’ve got it all going for me. My hair is perfectly curled, my makeup is flawless, and I’m cute as a button in my favorite Disney attire. You wouldn’t think anything could even be wrong with me.

    You see, not all disabilities are visible. I have PTSD from watching my 6 year old son die right before my eyes in a car accident on our way to Disney for his 7th birthday. I see the image of my child being killed every day of my life for the last 8 years. Every. Single. Day. I have awful panic attacks that happen at random and I can’t predict them. I have terrible night terrors and severe anxiety. This Service Dog sitting next to me helps me stay calm and when a panic attack happens, he senses it. He immediately leans against me, I bend down to him, he puts his nose to my nose and he brings me back to reality without having to use seriously addictive medication. This Service Dog is my best friend. He makes me feel like I can conquer the world and gives me that confidence, just by being by my side. When he is “working” with his vest on, he walks right beside me, not pulling me. He doesn’t get distracted by other dogs walking by, he is always paying attention to what I’m doing and if I’m getting anxious. I have spent many many many many countless hours working on his training with All American Dog Training Academy making him into the service dog his is today. He doesn’t bark at anyone, he doesn’t even pay any attention to anyone walking by. If I just “wanted to bring my pet with me everywhere” he wouldn’t be this well trained and in tune to my needs.

    Just because someone is different than you, doesn’t mean you need to be a complete asshole. You have no idea what someone has gone through and what they have lived. Instead of judging someone, maybe just be empathic to their situation and not make snide comments as they walk by.

    No, I don’t HAVE to explain myself, but I do it to maybe help someone else with a service dog that has gone through the same experiences of rude people that I have. And maybe, just maybe, those rude people will read this and realize how hurtful they truly are.

    Just remember, you never know what disability someone has by looking at them on the outside, so don’t be an asshole.

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    #servicedog #servicepoodle #servicedogsofdisney #waltdisneyworld #wdw #magicKingdom

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/RedWhiteandBethune/

     

  • This Note Broke Me, Not All Disabilities Are Visable

    To the person who put this on my car which I had put my disabled badge fully on show I’m not angry at your pure ignorance I’m actually upset with it. How dare you ever accuse anyone of not needing a disabled badge without knowing.

    I wish you had the balls to say this to my face and I would have told you (even though I don’t need to explain myself to the likes of you) but id of happily said why I have a badge.

    I promise to get the stigma away from people with disabled badges who don’t “look disabled” I hope this gets shared and back to you and you will see my son is terminally ill he’s had over 15 operations 3 open hearts, 2 stomach, lung and diaphragm and countless artery stenting operations and spent half his life on intensive care.

    He’s had 2 strokes and was paralysed, brain-damaged and has a spine and hip condition aswell as a massive heart condition. The reason I didn’t get his wheelchair out was because I was running late because my son who had a MRI scan CTSCAN and a dye for heart function yesterday only got discharged late and was back in this morning so carried him in.

    But for your information not everyone who holds a blue badge needs to have a wheelchair! I’ve told Alder hey security and broke down, I’ve sat through things nobody should see but why did your note break me? Because it’s your pure ignorance towards others I’m a single mum trying my best to hold it together for my son who’s in and out of hospital. NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISABLE and I hope you regret doing this and learn your lesson!

    I knew something would be said one day as everyday I get looks and stares and see people whispering to each other about me and bobby walking from the car. Everyone needs to stop and think before acting I hardly ever let anything upset me but this did. How aggressive aswell and as for conning my son’s disabled pass is not a con he’s actually seriously ill. I’ve added a picture of him to prove not everyone looks ill or disabled but can be seriously ill.

    This Note Broke Me, Not All Disabilities Are Visable
    This Note Broke Me, Not All Disabilities Are Visable

    I’d like to point out this has nothing to do with the hospital itself they was lovely with me when I was upset and they treat us with every respect always have for 3 long years with them. They’ve saved my son’s life many times it’s just somebody who was parked on the car park.

    Credit Emma Doherty

  • PTSD Is Only From War- Mocking & Education

    I have something that has been weighing so heavily on my mind since I heard it and I need your advice/ to get it off my chest. We recently hired an 18-year-old at my work that disclosed in his interview that he has overcome anxiety/depression and has a service dog due to PTSD.

    My district manager (who is male) and store manager (female) interviewed him, then consulted with me and we ended up hiring him. He is not allowed to bring his service dog to work, as it’s in the food industry, which he is ok with. Fast forward 2 weeks into his training, they ask me how his performance is, how it’s going, etc. After giving my feedback (mostly positive), they begin to discuss amongst themselves and I overhear them actually mocking him for saying he has PTSD and “needs a dog.”

    The male district manager goes on to say PTSD is something you only get from war. This infuriates me and I pipe up, doing something I have never done before, and say, “excuse me. I have never been to war and I have clinically diagnosed PTSD.” This is something I never disclose, because it’s my private business, but it’s obvious they are ignorant and could use some education. They both were utterly shocked and said, “you do?” Then the male has the audacity to ask “what I have PTSD from, ” to which I replied “none of your business, but people can get PTSD for a variety of reasons, such as being an emergency responder, being in a car crash, or a victim of violence, crime, or trauma.” This ended the conversation.

    Now, don’t get me wrong. Both bosses are actually nice people, but I have never experienced that level of ignorance in my life. There are people in the world that actually think ONLY military get PTSD??? How can you be so blind to the constant trauma people endure on the news headlines every night?

    How can I educate these people to actually understand what this boy, myself, and others are going through, while not stepping outside of my bounds of an employee? It’s really eating at me. I am well liked and respected there, as I have proven myself to them, but they do not give this boy much hope for a future with my company and I feel they have written him off simply because he was brave enough to disclose his battles.