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Tag: hurt

  • My Wife Beats Me, I’m Afraid I’m Going To Hurt Her

    My wife beats me

    My wife beats me and I’m afraid I’m going to hurt her. I love my wife dearly and want to fix our marriage but I’m afraid of what might happen. I’m 6ft 2in 210lbs I bench 300lbs with ease and my wife is  about 5ft 9 and 125lbs.

    We have our good and our bad days but on our worse days which happen more often than not lately she hits me . I have never hit my wife in an abusive way, but I’m afraid that eventually I won’t be able to control my anger when she hits me and I’ll end up seriously hurting her.

    I am a man I should not be scared of my wife, I cannot talk to my friends or family about it , surely they would laugh in my face, a grown man being battered by his woman.

    The above is what I wrote into Mums advice Facebook page after a rather nasty incident with her, she had poured boiling water on to my lap, it took all my strength not to punch her in the throat.

    Little did I know that woman would rally round me and tell me that I am not weak, that I am not worthless, that actually I am really strong for having the strength not to hurt her back. I spoke with many woman that night and through their words I saw my relationship for what it was.

    I am now free from abuse but this isn’t actually about me this is about you, you the man being humiliated, the man being hurt or you the woman who loses her temper and throws a punch knowing full well your man won’t strike back.

    I urge any man or woman who is in a violent or belittling relationship to get out or get help, do not let the words or actions bring you down.

    Abused men can reach out to the following organizations for help:

  • Let’s Talk About This Photo For A Second

    Let’s talk about this photo for a second.. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long one.

    So.. Everyone gets super excited to post photos of positive pregnancy tests. It’s so exciting and everyone is so happy for you! But think about it, what happens when you’re on the opposite side of that? You think “maybe this is actually a possibility this time?” But you don’t want to get your hopes up so you talk yourself out of it, “No.. the odds are against us.

    It’s just another false alarm.” But then you wake up one morning and say screw it, you’re going to find out what’s happening. So you take a test. And lo and behold, just like the hundreds before this one, it tells you that you’re not pregnant. What now? You go on about your day like nothing happened. Your body is just rebelling against you again.

    There is no need to tell anyone or do anything because nothing has changed. Every once in a while there are the ones when you have accidentally convinced yourself that it’s really happening and you take a test and boom, one line. Those are the ones that hurt the most.

    You’ve done everything you’re supposed to do. You thought that this really honestly could truly be it. And you wind up sitting in the bathroom floor crying praying that your husband can’t hear you. Wondering what you did so wrong that you can’t have the one chance to have what you want so desperately, what your body is SUPPOSED TO be able to do. When you try to confide in someone else how you’re feeling, they give the same remarks as everyone else, “It’ll happen in your time” and “Give it to God, and He will bless you” and “God has a plan” and my personal favorite, “Have you thought about adoption??”

    Sometimes people just need to talk, they don’t want answers or advice or even people trying to level with them. They just need to let out how they are feeling in that particular moment. Sometimes they need to be a little selfish, self-preserving. Sometimes they just don’t want to hear the BS cliché auto-responses from other people. They just want someone to hug them and say that they understand where you’re coming from and it sucks and it’s hard then leave it at that.

    Holidays are a special kind of hell for people like me. They get with family and friends that they don’t see on a regular basis and then all of the questions start. All of the “when are yall going to have a baby?” “Did you know that so-and-so is pregnant?? Aren’t you so happy for them?” You have to figure out how to be a good sport about the whole thing. You have to find ways to joke about it, or even just let it go in general.

    You can’t bite of everyone’s head when they ask you about something, but then again, why can’t people just not ask about such personal stuff? Especially if you never see them? How is it any of their business? Letting go is the hardest part. Everyone has good days and bad days. You can’t expect them all to be good. There are things that are silent triggers that just happen, most of the time, without warning. And you just have to deal with it. It’s not fun. It’s not exciting. This is the other side of pregnancy. This is infertility. This is PCOS.

     

    Original source unknown

  • Before Your Child Goes Back To School Show Them This

    This summer holiday you will buy new school uniforms, neatly pack their book bags or back pack, polish their shoes but are you doing the most important thing?

     There is one thing far more important than a freshly ironed uniform and a fresh hair cut that you can do for your child.

    Give them a  tube of toothpaste and asked them to squeeze it out on to a plate or bowl. When they have emptied the whole tube, ask them to put all the toothpaste back in the tube. When they complain and moan that it is impossible

    Say to them “You will remember this plate of toothpaste for the rest of your life. Your words have the power of life or death as you go to school, you are about to see just how much weight your words carry. You are going to have the opportunity to use your words to hurt, demean, slander and wound others. You are also going to have the opportunity to use your words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. You will occasionally make the wrong choice; I can think of three times this week I have used my own words carelessly and caused harm.

    Just like this toothpaste, once the words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back. Use your words carefully. When others are misusing their words, guard your words. Make the choice every morning that life-giving words will come out of your mouth. Decide tonight that you are going to be a life-giver in school. Be known for your gentleness and compassion. Use your life to give life to a world that so desperately needs it. You will never, ever regret choosing kindness.”

    Adapted from Amy Beth Gardner’s post full credit is still given to Gardner

    Mums advice ltd

  • I Feel Bitter And Jealous That My Baby Is Not Healthy

    I posted this in response to someone feeling a certain way about other’s healthy kids & their heart warrior & their own heathy kids, but I wanted to share it to see if anyone else feels/felt this way because I honestly feel so guilty about it.

    I can’t wait to NOT feel this way but I can’t help it maybe I’m just not as good of a person as I thought so here goes.

    I feel like garbage for having these feelings but my husband & I tried so hard to get pregnant, it took so long & then to find out at 26 weeks our son has a complex CHD & will need the 3 stages of open heart surgery to reroute everything & then a transplant as a young adult.

    I’m now 29 weeks & can’t help but feel bitter & jealous when I see healthy babies, especially with people I know that weren’t trying to get pregnant/didn’t want to & weren’t ready & don’t even get me started on the mum’s I know who considered abortion or adoption for their healthy child I’m like WHY couldn’t I have a healthy baby!

    I did EVERYTHING “the right way” I went to school, I got a great career, I dated for a long time, then married, then bought a house & then & only then when I felt I could give my child everything it needed, everything I didn’t have as a kid myself, did I try to conceive.

    I feel guilty for feeling that way especially to my friends’ kids or even my cousin who did NOT want a baby, she continued to use drugs in her first trimester, hard ones. She considered abortion & adoption, she continues to smoke cigarettes. NO ONE supported her decision to keep her baby…but SHE gets a healthy baby?

    I know I sound so rude & judge-y but REALLY! I’m beyond jealous especially because I was the only one who encouraged her to clean up & do right by her baby after she made the decision to keep it. I stood behind her when no one else did because we are both pregnant right now, just a week apart… AND SO with all that we are going to face with our son before & after he is born, me having to relocate will most likely cost me my job & who knows if we will be able to keep our house on only my husband’s income & who knows if my husband’s employer won’t fire him because of all the time he will need off between surgeries & what not & who knows if our son will even live… when it rains it f*cking pours!!!

    I will love my child but I am sad he will not be healthy!

    Emailed in anonymously

  • Help Us To Find A Young Man Named Chris May

    Do you have a brother or sister that you love with all your heart?

    A brother or sister who is also one of your best friends?

    Your child’s best friend.

    Now imagine one day they disappeared. No sight of them anywhere.No explanation.

    You couldn’t.

    Some days you feel like this isn’t real.

    Some days it’s so real that it smacks you in the face,hard.

    Some days you think he is coming back.

    Every person you see near your house when you return home, you convince yourself it may be him finally coming home even though deep down you know it isn’t.

    Every time you hear a sound in the night.

    Every time someone rings your door bell.

    Every time an unknown number calls you.

    Every time you see a car like his,even though you know his car has been found, for that spilt second you forget.

    Then there are the days when you think, perhaps what the police believe has happened,is true.

    Those days are the worst.

    How can that be true?!

    How can I live without ever seeing my brother again??

    How can I explain any of this to his beautiful niece who misses him daily, when I don’t understand it myself.

    How can we have hope when the person that knows something is unlikely to speak up.

    How can we grieve when the person that knows something is unlikely to speak up.

    How are we supposed to continue living like this?!

    Two years of a living hell!

    Please whoever you are, whatever you know, I am begging you to put an end to my families suffering.

    #findchrismay

  • Teach Your Children Bullying Can Lead To This

    All decent parents hope their children are kind to others, even to children they may not like. But still, many children and teens (and even adults) end up victims of rude or mean comments, or even bullying.
    The consequences of bullying can be depression or  even leading to suicide or self-harm by the victim.

    Anti-bullying plea
    One mum is speaking out, pleading with parents to not only monitor the way their kids are using smartphones and tablets, but to also teach them empathy after her daughter ended up hospitalized as a result of bullying.
    In a Facebook post, she writes: “Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

    “In this age of social media, children (because they are children) think it’s ok to send hateful messages (to me also along with their parents who won’t take responsibility) without consequences. I’ve had calls from these children calling me an old hag because I’ve defended our daughter, approached parents and pleaded with them to talk with their children and ask them to stop. I’ve even approached the children themselves, but been threatened by parents with harassment.”

    The department of education in America doesn’t expel children from schools for bullying, as they say: ‘Every child is entitled to an education.’

    What about our child’s entitlement?

    She’s been sent home numerous times after self harming at school. She’s not allowed a pencil sharpener as she takes the blade out and cuts herself.

    The department of education also told me: ‘You should teach your child how to be resilient against bullies.’ Yes, they said that.

    Our girl has had a video taken of her sitting at her desk at school, legs slightly open, with a lovely caption about the smell. It was posted to snapchat. I spent 90 mins with the police as they tried to determine if it was photographing and distribution of pornographic material. Yes, a 12 year old can be prosecuted if the content breaches certain criteria. Sadly our daughter’s didn’t, but she was subjected to weeks of ridicule. Repercussions? The girl who posted the video lost her playtime. The person who took the video? Nothing, because no one would tell who it was.

    It’s ok to verbally attack at school because they can get away with it via a screen; so think the same will happen in the real world.

    Last week, we spent over 5 hours in A&E with psychiatrists, doctors and nurses, because our girl ‘had a plan to commit suicide’. On Tuesday, I am in court applying for a VRO against a 12 year old to keep her (the bully) away from our beautiful girl—all because parents don’t accept responsibility for their children and schools can only do so much.
    “Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

    The school has a safety plan for the bullied child, our daughter. And the bully? She only loses break and lunch privileges. This is infant school punishment!

    Please, in this awful age of social media (or anti social media as we call it) check your children’s messages. Their devices are a privilege, nothing more, nothing less, so please make sure they are being polite and respectful in their messages. Teach the children to ‘talk’ not use text or social media to air their differences.

    Bullying affects the whole family, not just the bullied. It needs to stop and it needs to stop now! Please feel free to share.”

    She further explains that not only have parents been non-receptive to her pleas, but the school has done little to curb the problem. Her daughter has been self-harming as a result of the ongoing bullying, which often occurs through social media via smartphones.

    The problem with smartphones and social media
    The world has become a different place over the last ten years. Most kids have a smartphone— and are still learning appropriate behavior versus inappropriate behavior. It’s easier to type on a computer or into a smartphone something mean to someone than it is to say it in person.

    Hiding behind a screen can give a false sense of power over another person. Kids are not yet mature enough to consider the repercussions of saying cruel and hateful things to another person via their smartphone.
    Teens tend to gang up on one person and band together in their cruelty.

    Parents must monitor and teach children
    If your child has a smartphone and/or social media accounts, it’s your responsibility to monitor what your child is saying to other people and what is being said back. Is your child bullying someone else? Are they being bullied? If the answer is yes, you must take action to stop it. Besides bullying, there is major concerns about sexting and sending pornography in texts or through apps.

    If your child is using social media and smartphones to make bad choices, you need to work to teach them what is and is not acceptable behavior. Set up consequences and follow through. Does that mean losing smartphone privileges for a short time or longer period? Do other restrictions need to be set up? Do they need to apologize to another person for things they have said or done? Follow through and be firm.
    Empathy

    Some children naturally have empathy, others must be taught. If your child is hurting others, try asking them how they’d feel in the reverse situation— were they are on the receiving end of bullying. Try to help them see how what they say or do can affect others and how it can hurt them. Help them set up ways they can show more kindness and empathy to others outside their social circles, such as finding those who need a friend or sticking up for someone who is being bullied.

     

     

  • Toddler Badly Burnt Whilst At Nursery

    Distraught mum’s horror as Toddler Badly Burnt Whilst At Nursery

    Little Reuben’s face was scalded in the accident at Bridge End House Nursery, Fixby

    Reuben’s mum has told of how she was left feeling “hysterical and distraught” after her toddlers face was scalded following an accident at a Fixby nursery.

    Sarah Jane Walker, 29, of Deighton said she couldn’t believe what she was hearing when the manager at Bridge End House Nursery told paramedics what had happened  to her 18-month-old son Reuben Adams.

    Sarah said: “I was working in Huddersfield town centre when I got a call from the nursery manager at 3.30pm. I was told he had been burned. I put the phone down and went as fast as I could to Huddersfield Royal Infirmary where an ambulance had taken him.

    “I got there and Reuben’s key worker and nursery manager were there. He was in an awful state. I got hold of Reuben and took him out of the nursery nurse’s arms and they left.

    “I was in hysterics. I was crying. I didn’t want him to see me so upset. He was given morphine and transferred to Pinderfields General Hospital. My mum was there.

    “He has had some more morphine to clean the wounds. He couldn’t sleep and I was with him all night.

    We are hopin with time the scars will fade and that he grows up with no memory of this pain.

    Toddler Badly Burnt Whilst At Nursery
    She said paramedics were told by nursery staff that her son had apparently opened the safety gate and went into the kitchen area and has somehow been injured by a bowl of boiling water used to warm a baby bottle.

    “Reuben is my only baby and I’m mortified that this has happened in the care of a qualified Ofsted registered nursery that I researched before registering him.

    “I had put my trust in this nursery so I could go to work to give Reuben everything possible.

    “Reuben will not be returning to the nursery ever again.”

    Toddler Badly Burnt Whilst At Nursery
    Toddler Badly Burnt Whilst At Nursery

     

     

  • Childs Five Words Shake Her Mum To The Core: Racial Bullying

    Everyone grew up with a childhood best friend. They were the one you missed when they weren’t at school, who always made you laugh and kept all your secrets and the keeper of every pinky promise. You two did everything together.

    When you are young, it’s pretty incredible what a difference your best friend forever can make. Rachel May Stafford recently took to Facebook to share an experience her daughter had with her best friend who fell subject to racist bullying.

    Stafford said her daughter explained tearfully that she asked her friend if she was OK after hearing the racist comments, but she didn’t respond.
    “So I just scooted closer,” Stafford said her daughter told her. “I didn’t know what to do, Mama, so I just hurt with her.”
     

    I just hurt with her
    “It took me a moment to recover from that,” Stafford said in her post. “I filed those powerful words away and continued observing this mighty pair.”
    She went on to explain her admiration for the best friend duo, saying that they have always been there for each other.
    “Whether one gets hurt on the playground … whether one is getting new glasses and needs an honest opinion … whether one needs encouragement at basketball tryout … whether one is frightened by a dog … they respond compassionately to each other’s needs.”

    She said that even when they have disagreements, they manage to talk things through calmly and effectively.
    She shared a story of taking the two girls to basketball camp, only to arrive and see that they were the only two girls at the camp. They fist bumped, then went on to enjoy their time at camp.

    On the last day of camp, Stafford’s daughter looked at her best friend and said, “‘Thank you so much for going with me to that new camp. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done!’”
    Her friend looked her straight in the eye and said, “‘If you ever have to go to a new basketball camp, don’t worry. I will always go with you.”
     

    This is the kind of friend everyone should have
    Stafford said she hopes the world takes note of a friendship like this.
    “What if we collectively remember, ‘I’ll hurt with you,’ is something we can all do when we don’t know what to do?”
    She said we should stop looking at it as “my back” or “your back,” but rather, “our backs,” so we can create a unified, peaceful world for our future generations.
    She shared a picture of the two girls sitting on a football field and explained that the two of them have a little team of their own. But their team goal isn’t to win or be the best, it’s to love.

    These sweet young girls are setting the perfect example of the love we should all have for one another, regardless of age or skin colour.
    “They know that they are stronger together than they are alone,” Stafford said. “Let us take note.”