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Tag: Friendship

  • This Is What Friendship Looks Like

    This is what friendship looks likešŸ‘‡šŸ¼

    I am currently walking through the hardest season of my life, and as Mamaā€™s we feel like weā€™ve always gotta put on our big girl pants and just muscle through. Never let ā€˜em see you sweat, right? Oh girl…if thereā€™s one thing this season has taught me, itā€™s that that sort of lie is terribly dangerous to believe.

    I needed my people today. I thought I just needed to call them up and cry about what was happening, and then while on the phone, my sweet friend asked me such an important question. She asked me to just say what I needed and wanted most.

    I told her that I didnā€™t want to be alone.

    Her response :: ā€œIā€™m on my way.ā€

    I started in with all of the reasons she couldnā€™t and shouldnā€™t come… ā€œMy house is a disaster.ā€ ā€œI donā€™t want to burden you.ā€ ā€œItā€™s such a long drive.ā€

    Her response :: ā€œSister, I donā€™t care about any of that. You said you donā€™t want to be alone, so Iā€™m coming.ā€

    Not only did she make the trek from Greeley to Fort Collins, but she picked up another sweet friend along the way. They picked up lunch, they walked into my house, gave me the biggest hugs, and asked ā€œWhat can we do?ā€

    My disaster of a house? They helped me clean it, and assured me it wasnā€™t that bad. They let me cry, they made me laugh, we listened to music, and most importantly…

    I. Wasnā€™t. Alone. šŸ’•

    Mama, if youā€™re going through a rough season…know that you donā€™t have to do it by yourself. You donā€™t even have to know what you need ā€” just start by asking to not be alone.

    I know there is someone in your life who will say to you ā€œIā€™m on my way,ā€ if only youā€™d ask.

    And Mama if you have a friend who you know is going through it, just offer to come and be there with her. Actually donā€™t offer…just tell her youā€™re coming.

    Because I guarantee she wants that more than anything, and sheā€™s having a hard time being able to say it.

    Praying for all of you walking the tough roads right now…whatever that may look like for you, know that youā€™re not walking it alone! We love you, Mama! šŸ’•

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nocomomsblog/

     

  • I’m Ok, It’s Ok, No Adult Company Again Today

    Say bye to my husband as he goes out to work. Take the eldest to school. Just me and the 2 year old again. Alone.

    What shall we do today? All alone.

    Farm? Soft play? The park? Just us. I wonder if anyone fancies a brew?! But who is there to call?

    Iā€™ll just do some jobs, have a brew. What time is it? Shall we head out and get back for dinner? Where shall we go? Just us.

    The loneliness creeps in. Should I ring my husband? No heā€™s busy at work, I mustnā€™t disturb him. Who shall I message?

    Iā€™ll just scroll Facebook and maybe the gram. See if anyoneā€™s about.

    Should I message that mum from school? No sheā€™ll be busy. You only know her to chat to, will she even want a brew?

    We play some games. Read a book. Shall we watch some telly? Iā€™ll just scroll Facebook again… get some contact with the world. Something other than these 4 walls.

    Now itā€™s dinner time. Maybe someone will be around after school?

    Hi are you in this aft? x

    No sorry.

    Ok x

    Why whatā€™s up?

    Nothing (not strictly true), was just seeing if you were free for a brew. x

    No Iā€™m not sorry.

    Hi what you up2?

    Just in town.

    Ahh ok.

    Why?

    Just seeing if you were in and fancied a brew.

    Are you home?

    No Iā€™m at work.

    Itā€™s just me, the toddler and these 4 walls today. Thereā€™s always tomorrow.

    No-one messages, maybe itā€™s me. Maybe no-one wants to meet us. Itā€™s ok. Iā€™m ok. No adult company today. The loneliness is creeping in.

    We pick the eldest up from school. If Iā€™m lucky there might be a parent about for a chat. Only I canā€™t hold a full conversation as the youngest is clinging off me, running about. I need to keep my eye on her.

    We go home and thereā€™s now 2 little voices to contend with.

    By the time my husband gets home from work, weā€™re eating tea. He joins us. We chat about nothing much. Iā€™m exhausted.

    Exhausted from being lonely.

    Thereā€™s always tomorrow for some company.

    The days blur. The loneliness sinks in. So much so that even after youā€™ve had company, you still feel lonely.

    You stop asking if people are free. You stick to the 4 walls, your kids and your brew.

    Itā€™s the loneliness that numbs my brain. Does it numb anyone elseā€™s? No conversations to make me think, to make my brain whir.

    I forget how to interact with people. I canā€™t make new friends. The ones Iā€™ve got donā€™t have time to meet up, why would anybody new? Itā€™s ok. Iā€™m ok.

    The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin.

    Thereā€™s always tomorrow.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/thenonperfectparentsclub/

  • friendship goals … 2

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  • Do You Have A Friendship Like This?

    Friendship is:

    -Picking your friend up with a busted knee

    -Looking in the rain to find a chemist in a strange place

    -Coming together even just for a walk

    -Blowing a hand-dryer to hide your friends toilet issues

    -Giving up the double bed

    -Laughing at the rubbish jokes they make

    -Celebrating your friend’s ability to finally poo after 3 days

    -Falling asleep when your friends are talking without them thinking youā€™re rude

    -Being able to share secrets with going no further

    -Confidence boosters

    -Talking about your fears with no judgements

    Finally, travelling distances just for that one hug. Through mums advice I am thankful to have met some beautiful, fun-loving ladies.

    If you are feeling lonely or need someone to talk toĀ the admins at Mums advice are ready and willing to help.

    Did you know we also have a pen pal group to help mums to make lasting friendship.

    Life is often hectic, life is often hard but life is made so much easier with real friends by you side, they don’t have to live round the corner, some friends you don’t even get to meet but the are always just a message a way.

    A laugh or a cry with a friend can be such a stress reliever.

    Do you have someone who is always there for you no matter what? If not take a look at Mums advice pen pals & new friends (Facebook group)

    Do you have a true, funny, heart breaking or inspiring story you would like to share with us? Are you trying to raise awareness of any topic(doesn’t have to be parenting related) or would you like us to do so on your behalf? Are you interested in advertising on Mums advice Facebook page and or website and want to know our rates? If you answered yes to any of these then please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com

  • Mental Illness Affects My Relationships

    I suffer from depression and anxiety. My anxiety is usually spurred on by a ‘dark’ mood. Let me start by saying, I don’t have suicidal thoughts, I never have & I hopefully never will. My depression takes me to other places. Simple things like relationships and friendships become so trivial, so complicated.

    In my brain it doesn’t sit right, something seems different. I notice little differences that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t notice.

    That comment you didn’t tag me in, but you tagged other people? I saw that, why didn’t you tag me? What’s up with me?

    You read that message, I saw you did, but you didn’t reply.. why didn’t you reply? Have I done something to upset you?

    You didn’t say I love you on the phone.. do you not love me anymore? Do you love someone else instead?

    They just made a comment about me. Was it a joke? Was I supposed to laugh? Or do they mean it? Are they being nice? Are they talking about me? Do they talk about me? I bet they hate me.

    Am I doing this right? Is this what aĀ mum should do? What if this is wrong. Oh god. What if someone reports me. What if they take my kids. Should I hide? Should I leave. I’m a bad mum. I can’t do this.

    Am I good enough? Should I just run away and hide?

    And for all those questions I will spend hours trying to answer. Let it all build up in my mind, until it sends me to tears…… it’s mental that isn’t it. That I see things that way. Some call it psycho but what it really is.. is a mental illness.

    It’s not only mental changes, but physical changes. I eat a lot, mainly rubbish, because I need it now and I need the energy from lack of sleep. Insomnia, up all night answering questions to situations that don’t even exists.

    I know when I start to feel this way or think this way, I need help.

    I know that when my behaviour starts to change, I need guidance.

    And I understand that I don’t need to be ashamed. I don’t need to be understood. I just need to be accepted. Everyone is fighting a battle and sometimes you need to be kinder.

    Don’t suffer in silence.

  • Friendship Goals

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  • I Am Your Forgotten Friend

    I am your forgotten friend.

    We may have known each other for years. I’m in your circle of Friends, the group, the squad, but I’m nobody’s favourite.

    I get invited and I always show up and we have a good time, but would anyone miss me if I wasn’t there?

    When it comes down to sitting around the table nobody says oh I’ll sit with you. When it comes to getting in cars, I’ll be in the front next to the driver, nobody wants me in the back with them.

    They’ve got their favourites, everyone’s got a favourite in their group of friends, except I’m nobody’s favourite.

    I’ll have a smile on my face people say they have had a good time, but would it make a difference if I wasn’t there? Nobody knows how it feels, not in my group of friends, I don’t think anyone would ever choose me.

    I dread the group chat, I want to put my opinion across, I really do, but it feels like nobody hears me or sees me. Ā I’d love to send a message and talk about how my day is going or what I’ve been doing, but no one would reply, it seems like they never do, not when it’s me.

    Even when it comes to the little things like selfies, I’m the pictures, I’m in the group shots! But the single pictures just you and me, that never happens. There will be a selfie of those two girls or those three girls, but there’s no me and someone. It’s always everyone and I’ll be in the back.

    Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for my friends, I’m grateful that I have friends I just wish they were grateful that they had me.

  • I Never Wanted ‘Mummy Friends’

    Gylisa Jayne’s Facebook post is going viral and it’s clear to see why. Ā She tells us of her situation and for so many parents it is far too familiar. Ā Too many of us think we can do things alone, or that we should suffer in silence. Ā This is simply not the case.

    I never wanted ‘ Mummy Friends’.

    I didn’t want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit.

    I didn’t want to have knowledge about best nappy brands, or know exactly how many fanny stitches we all had.

    I had a preconceived idea that Mummy Groups were vicious cliques, and I hadn’t been in one at school – I didn’t plan to start now.

    I didn’t need them anyway, I had my soul mate – my baby daddy. The man I had chosen for this journey. He would be there for everything. I didn’t need anyone else.

    Then I had a baby, and I needed someone.

    The network I should have had, simply wasn’t there.

    My midwives were too busy, I hadn’t met any of them twice.
    My Health Visitor was a vanishing woman – still talking about phone numbers and triages and children’s centres id never heard of as she walked herself out. Never to be seen again.

    Then there was my partner. My chosen mate. The first love of my life. The man that knew what I needed before I did.

    Only he didn’t understand me anymore.
    He was trying to figure out his Dad Role.
    He didn’t understand why I was crying
    about putting the kettle in the fridge. šŸ™ˆ
    He didn’t know why I’d forgotten to take the parcels to the post office.
    He didn’t know why I had no love left over for him.

    I didn’t want ‘ Mummy Friends’.
    Until I realised that no one else would understand me like they did.

    The ones that had been there, done that.
    The ones that were fumbling through for the first time – just like me.
    The ones who had had every argument you can imagine with their husband.
    The ones proving you didn’t need to lose yourself along the way. That you’ll find a new you as you go.

    The ones who needed me just as much as I needed them.

    I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey.

    There was no clique, just women loving women – despite what you might have heard.

    I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it – but there were scores of women that did.

    So I didn’t want ‘Mummy Friends’…

    I needed them.

    x

    Credit Gylisa Jayne Facebook