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Tag: failing

  • This Is What Depression Looks Like For Me

    This is what depression looks like.No. Not the clean dishes.

    But that there were that many dishes in the first place; that I’ve gone 2 weeks without doing them. 3 days ago I sat on the kitchen floor and stared at them while I cried. I knew they needed to be done. I wanted to do them so bad. But depression pulled me under. It sucked me in. Like a black hole. Rapidly, sinking quick-sand.

    I walked by them morning and night and all day long. And just looked at them. Telling myself that I could do them. Telling myself that I would. And feeling defeated everyday that I didn’t. Making the depression only that much worse because not accomplishing something that needs to be done is failure. Worthless. Failure. Piece of shit. Incompetent. Stupid. Lazy. All things that roll through the mind of someone with depression.

    All. Day. Long. Throw anxiety on top of it, and you’ve got yourself a real treat.            Being scared your husband will leave because he thinks you’re lazy. Being scared to let people into your home because they’ll think you’re nasty. Feeling like you’re failing your kids because for the 3rd night in a row you don’t have any clean dishes to cook dinner on.. so pizza it is. Again. And the worst part of it all, it’s not just with the dishes. The laundry, cleaning, dressing yourself, taking a shower, dressing your kids, brushing your and their teeth, normal everyday tasks. It all becomes a nightmare. A very daunting task.

    Somedays it doesn’t get done at all. Depression is something that “strong” people don’t talk about because they don’t want people to think they’re “weak”. You’re not weak. You’ve been strong for so long and through so many things, that your body needs a break. I don’t even care if the only thing you did today, was put deodorant on. I’m proud of you for it. Good job. I’m in your corner. I’m on your side. I’m not looking for sympathy, not in the slightest. But I am letting everyone know that I’m here for you. I get it. If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here to help.

    Full credit goes to the amazing Brittany Ernsperger

  • I Expect Top Care Off Staff Not My Boy Left Like This

    When I leave my son in the care of the nursing staff I expect top quality care not my poor boy being left

    I have just walked into my sons room and his nurse was over by his cot she realised I was behind her and scurried out only for me to see my son like this his leg twisted right behind him

    For those who know my son Jacob know he can’t get himself like this because of his muscle tone it is impossible !!!!!!

    He was diagnosed with dystonia 6 months ago which made him bend in half backwards however this is not dystonia as his whole body would do this if it was.

    He has been out like this and left he was screaming in pain

    Luckily my friend was with me to take photos as I sorted him out and comforted my distressed and in pain baby boy.

    Not only did the nurse do this she also messed up his antibiotics and left a syringe attached to his tube instead of taking it away like she should.

    Also a few weeks ago my friends walked In to Jacobs room to find a pillow over his face and his machine had been beeping for twenty minutes when they looked back on the review of the machine how can they be so incompetent

    Yes I have been to pals yes I have spoken to the ward manager but this is not the first time something like this has happened or a fuck up on Jacobs meds, I wish I could be by his side every waking minute but that is not possible, I have no choice but to trust these trained staff but they are failing my son.

    I am devastated he is a little boy who deserves the right care and no fucks ups.

    What else can I do?

    To follow more of Jacob’s journey take a look of their Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/thelittleboywhostolemyheart/

  • Don’t Judge A School By It’s Exam Results

    This week in my classroom…

    – I sent a child to the office in the morning. She had a 102 fever and threw up. No one could reach her parents the entire day. They never came to get her after school. The receptionist walked her home and the parents didn’t even come to the door to find out why.

    – A previous student from last year visited me during lunch. She told me all about how her cousin was murdered last night. Everyone is crying and sad. They’re going to see the body today. She spent her lunch and my whole lunch break with me just chatting.

    – One of my students and his mother were kicked out his aunt’s  home and had to move into a bed sit.

    – Another student showed up in the same white shirt 3 days in a row, which by yesterday, had turned gray with grime. Thank goodness our school has extra clothes to give him and a shower if it comes to that.

    – A different student’s father didn’t show up to chaperone for our school trip like he said he would. The child was sick with worry because his dad left angry the night before and never came home. He’s still not home. A trip to the counselor helped him out a lot.

    – On the coach to said school trip, another student told me all about his secret money hiding space under his bed. He further explained that he has to hide his money because his granddad steals it to buy cigarettes. He now hides his money in my desk drawer because granddad found his new hiding place (it’s only £5).

    – A little girl asked to grab 2 pears instead of one because she worried her mum was too tired to the food shop again. I gave her a bag of extra food and snacks that the school keeps around. Good thing we give all of our students free breakfast and she gets free school meals from the government.

    – A little boy showed up with a shaved head. He was so embarrassed that he refused to take his hood off his head. Eventually he told me his mum shaved his head because his aunt has nits so badly that you can see the bugs jumping around. He was terrified of the nits crawling into his ears and getting into his brain. A little research together during lunch put his fears to bed.

    – Another student shared that, when her dad gets out of jail, he’s bringing her to a skating rink. We started her a countdown on our class calendar.

    – Her story prompted another boy to share that his dad is going to get his ankle monitor off soon so they can go for a bike ride this summer. Of my 29 students, I know of 5 who have a parent that has recently been or still is incarcerated.

    Keep in mind that these are just the events of ONE week in ONE classroom. Are we actually surprised that so many of these kids can’t read or add? Is it really schools that are failing kids? Maybe schools have to be more than a place to learn for some kids. Teachers are doing more for kids than you can even begin to understand.

    The government needs to stop with the constant testing of primary age children and look at the bigger picture some children need support in other areas other than reading and writing, many need a friend, a role model and a bloody hot meal.

    When a school is only classed as good by the exam results we are failing the children who need the most helped.

     

  • Child Maintenance Service Is It Failing

    Child Maintenance Service Is It Failing

    The child support agency (csa) has nearly completely changed to the child maintenance service (cms).

    There was promises of huge changes and improvements with this service, but many parents feel nothing has improved and they are still very much out-of-pocket.

    One mum said

    “Really starting to give up 😢why are they letting these dads not face there responsibilities it’s so wrong and not fair on us mums!😠”

    Another mum took to social media to rant about the injustice of the whole system and how the non-resident parent can lie and get away with it.

    “Got a letter in the post today. Yearly review. Kids so-called dad has finally declared an income to HMRC £32.40 a week. WOW I mean WOW. What’s that like just over 4hrs a week at minimum wage he is getting away with declaring? He is self-employed and earning way more than that but can still buck the system. Let’s see if January 18th he makes the 1st payment I’m guessing I will never see a penny in my life from him”

    The child maintenance service can work if the non-resident parent is employer or honest, if he is employed the service can take money directly from his wages or bank account.

    Mums and dads who are self-employed are however fiddling the system and claiming they earn less than they do.

    One mum we spoke to said her ex is a self-employed taxi driver the mum knows he works a minimum of 60 hours a week but he claims he only earns £65.60 a week, which is impossible and is even more infuriating when he has had a full sleeve tattoo done, been on three holidays last year and manages to go out drinking at least 4 times a month, yet she only receives £7 a week in payments for two children and cms takes a percentage of that for themselves.

    Not only are they dodging their financial parental responsibilities but screwing over the tax man, little seems to be done about this though and parents are left feeling frustrated and helpless.

    When parents have contacted the cms they are told there is nothing they can do their ends and the parent is to prove that their ex is earning more, many people have complained about the child maintenance service and feel that many of the employees are incompetent and lack the resources to actually deal with their claim.

    Have you had a bad experience with the csa or cms? We would love to hear from you