Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: commitment

  • Commitment Is Not What Everyone Thinks It Is

    Commitment is not what everyone thinks it is. It’s not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eating together. It’s not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep. It’s not a clean home and a homemade meal every day, It’s not skipping down the streets holding hands or laying on the beach staring up at the stairs.

    It’s someone who steals all the covers. It’s sometimes slammed doors, and a few harsh words, disagreeing, and the silent treatment until your hearts heal, It’s the small stuff, the pants on the floor, the washing up not done, the snoring. Then…forgiveness!

    It’s coming home to the same person everyday that you know loves and cares about you, in spite of and because of who you are. It’s laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid. It’s about dirty laundry and unmade beds without finger-pointing. It’s about helping each other with the hard work of life, the wanting to fix each others problems! It’s about swallowing the nagging words instead of saying them out loud, the laughing at each others faults rather than moaning about them.

    It’s about eating the cheapest and easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at 10 p.m. to eat because you both had a crazy day. It’s when you have an emotional breakdown, and your love lays with you and holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay, and you believe them. It’s when “Netflix and chill” literally means you watch Netflix and hang out. It’s about still loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane.

    Living with the person you love is not perfect, and sometimes it’s hard, but it’s amazing and comforting and one of the best things you’ll ever experience.

  • Why This Photo Of A Dad Eating Dinner With His Daughter Has Been Shared Nearly 50K Times

     

    Why This Photo Of A Dad Eating Dinner With His Daughter Has Been Shared Nearly 50K Times

    Most of us don’t think about the people behind our food. The people planting, growing, and harvesting our food. Many of us don’t realize the backbreaking, brutal, lonely work that goes into that one sack of potatoes you might pick up for pennies at the shop.

    Some of us might not think twice about the sugar we spoon into our morning coffee. And certainly not all of us contemplate the existence of the beef that we bite into with a big, delicious burger.

    But the men and women who are clocking in hours as farmers are the very people that make the world go `round, and one farmer’s wife recently shared a sweet look inside the sacrifice — and sweetness — of life on the farm.

    I snapped this picture the other night at the end of a long day. I was tired. I was irritated. I had sent my husband a text telling him that I knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but I wanted him to know that I was feeling fed up with how much he works and with all that I have to do everyday by myself. The full time job, cooking dinner, bathing kids, weekend trips without him, keeping up a home, you name it I was resenting it. I have to have these little moments.. more

    Katie Spence Pugh, a mum of three, including twins who were born in 2010, and pharmaceutical rep who lives in West Tennessee America, posted a picture to Instagram and Facebook about the hardships of being a farmer’s wife. In her family blog, Pugh described how she and her husband, Eugene, had been college sweethearts before getting married. When Eugene decided to help run his family’s farm, Pugh also made a commitment to shoulder the sacrifice that comes with shouldering many of the responsibilities of parenting solo.

    “I snapped this picture the other night at the end of a long day,” Pugh wrote. “I was tired. I was irritated. I had sent my husband a text telling him that I knew it wouldn’t make a difference, but I wanted him to know that I was feeling fed up with how much he works and with all that I have to do everyday by myself. The full time job, cooking dinner, bathing kids, weekend trips without him, keeping up a home, you name it I was resenting it.” 

    Pugh went on to describe that she gave into those (very normal, I might add!) feelings of resentment several times over the grueling planting and harvesting seasons, when it’s typical for farmers to work until the wee hours of the mornings, only to stumble in for a few hours of sleep before climbing back into a tractor. And it was in one of those moments, when Pugh was feeling overwhelmed, that she had an epiphany.

    “He came in, fixed his plate and sat down to eat all alone. He was tired. He was hot. He was exhausted. Rather than complain, he said he was sorry I was tired and felt that way. Charlotte joined him and talked his head off and even ate most of his dinner. He didn’t complain. He shared, and it hit me. Do I wish that we saw him more than an hour or so a day? Yes. But, the love he has for his craft is something to envy. Farmers work in a thankless profession.

    It’s always non GMO this and organic that, and let’s not even talk about the stress from Mother Nature. This is a man who is working to uphold 4 generations of blood sweat and tears and showing his children the value of hard work and discipline. So while I felt frustrated, I really should have felt thankful.

    I got to sit down to dinner and hear all the stories from the day with the kids. I got to give them a bath and hear their squeals and giggles. I got to snuggle and love on them for 3 hours more than he did. He is the one sacrificing, not me. We will keep on keeping on until the next rainy day when we get a few extra hours with our hard worker.”

    Pugh’s words have resonated with farmer’s wives, and us mere mortals, all around America and the world, as it has been shared over 48K times.

     
    If nothing else, Pugh’s words are an important reminder to remember the sacrifice of those who work so hard to provide for us all.
    “The next time you slip into that comfy cotton shirt or eat delicious farm fresh food, thank a farmer. Where would we be without them?” asks Pugh.
    Consider this our thanks to you, Eugene, and to you, Katie. Because farming, like parenting, is always a team effort requiring sleepless nights, endless patience, and a whole lot of comfort food.

     

  • In Sickness and In Health a Real Life Love Story

    Having a partner with lifelong illnesses and learning to cope.

    Bit of background for you. Me and my partner Charlie met when we were at school and began going out at 15 years old. We grew up together and shared the same memories which is so special. We now have our son who is 8 months old, who despite all odds blessed us coming into this world.

    I was living at Charlies parents with him while working as a business administrator for the NHS saving up to move out. Charlie began looking gaunt and tired all the time, but he’s such a closed book I assumed he was just tired from work. I noticed he kept spending an awful lot of time in the toilet daily and seemed exhausted when he came out. One night after dinner he told me ‘Hannah don’t be alarmed but every time I go to the toilet I’m bleeding a lot.’ I knew he was ill and I phoned 111 who told me to take him straight to A&E. I thought maybe it was a stomach bug. What I thought would be a couple of hours turned into weeks. Charlie was admitted and needed an IV drip as he was dehydrated. They done multiple scans, MRI’s, colonoscopy’s, blood tests and examinations on him. He began turning yellow while in hospital which scared me. Eventually consultants sat down with us and explained what was going on. Charlie was diagnosed with a rare liver disease called PSC (Primary sclerosing Cholangitis) and also autoimmune hepatitis of the liver. They said his liver was very scarred. As If that wasn’t enough to take in we were told he had ulcerative colitis (Bowel disease) and his bowel was extremely inflamed. They were going to take his bowel out while he was in hospital but because its such a big operation decided to try get the inflammation down with steroids, injections and medication. Once Charlie was discharged he was still extremely ill and ended up losing his job. I was unable to continue working when he needed me to help him. He was seen multiple times a week and needed help administering his injections. He then developed osteoporosis (bone disease) from the vast amount of medication. He was brittle, frail and relied on a walking stick to get him everywhere. He was only 19 years old.

    This was a lot for me to take in, but not once did it ever cross my mind that it would be too much for me. After many hospital appointments and blood tests frequently we were told his illnesses would never get better and in the future a liver transplant will be needed, along with a bowel removal in the future when it gets too bad. We were told his life expectancy will be shortened and having children wouldn’t happen naturally due to all the medications he was on.

    We decided that we wanted to have children young, because every day we learnt to embrace because we didn’t know what the future would hold. I developed PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) so along with Charlie’s problems it was extremely hard to conceive. We got there in the end 2 years later and welcomed our son into the world. Our son gives Charlie a purpose in life to fulfil his life. He’s an amazing dad.