Tag: Choose

  • Single Working Mums You Are Badass

    A reality so many women face. When you have no choice because financially you can’t stay home and long to so bad. Whether you are planning your family or it happens on a whim… The thoughts race through your head. How will I do this? How am I going to manage? How will I get off work? How will I balance working full-time plus overtime, get home & try to spend time with the kids before bed. Work on homework, start dinner, attempt to clean, make sure the kids have clean clothes for the next day. Baths. Story time. Hugs. Kisses. But what about you? Where’s your time? By the time you get everything settled and done, there is no time because in a few short hours this chaotic schedule will start back over. & Repeat.

    No one understands the punch to the gut you get when your maternity leave is up and you have to leave that precious baby.

    No one talks about the guilt.

    No one talks about the exhaustion.

    No one talks about your mental health.

    They just see super mum!

    “Oh my gosh, I don’t know how you do it” is something you hear often. Or you get the “how could you choose working over your kids”.

    They don’t see all those bills piled up on the table, some past due & some are getting there. They don’t know that you’re a single mum trying to be both mum and dad and all you want is to buy your little guy those shoes he wants for getting a gold star at school or a celebration certificate from school.

    They don’t know that you’re trying to put yourself through school while juggling working & taking care of your children.

    They don’t see you crying in the shower because you missed your kids

    First steps

    First words

    First day of school

    sports game and sports day

    Awards ceremony

    School trip

    Dr appointments

    See, you’d give anything to be home with your babies. If only that was doable in this day & age.

    Your day doesn’t end. You leave one job to start another. One day they will understand. They will know why you worked so hard to keep your family a float. Trust me.

    You are one badass mum & you’re rocking it, being mum and dad and sole provider is one touch job!

    Submitted by Dawn Friend

  • I Had To Choose Which Child To Keep

    I had to choose which child to keep

    I can only be a good parent to one of my two child and this kills me inside.

    I have two children Shane who Is 13 and Chloe who is 3, I love them both so much.

    Shane has always been a hand full, playing truant from school, hanging around with the wrong crowd and getting up to mischief, Shane was always so angry and quick to fly into a temper.

    I have had the school, police and social services involved to try to control and calm Shane down and trying to teach me ways to deal with him.

    Shane did have some good traits he dotted on his little sister always hugging her and playing with her, I never once thought he would hurt her, yes he had slapped me on a number of occasions but Chloe was his favourite person in the whole world.

    Shane was already in his 4th secondary school after being excluded from others, just after Halloween I received a call from Shane’s new school.

    It had been brought to a teacher’s attention that my son had been boasting to his friends that when he got home he was going to rape and drown his sister in the bath.

    I will never know if he meant it or whether he was just showing off in front of everyone.

    I wasn’t prepared to take that chance, I had no control of him, at the age of 13 he was bigger and stronger than me, had he tried to hurt Chloe I would have had little power to stop him.

    I handed my first-born child over to the local authority to protect my youngest child.

    Not a day goes by where I don’t feel ashamed and guilty, Shane won’t speak to me, the last thing he said to me before he cut contact was “you picked her over me, if you thought I was gonna hurt her why didn’t you give her up”.

    I had to make a choice my violent son whom I loved but had failed or my innocent daughter.

    Did I make the right choice, my daughter would have been loved by any family had I given her up, but my son needed me.

    I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with my decision but I did what I thought was right for my daughter.

    I just hope my son grows up into a decent human being and we can rekindle some sort of relationship.