Tag: Car

  • Here Are Some Reasons NOT To Have Children

    If anyone here doesn’t have children and are thinking about procreation here’s about 264 reasons not to bother

    * you will on average fill yourself a bath up 4 times a week and never get to get in it

    * you will never ever have the chance to get yourself ready. One of your darling womb fruits will either shit themself puke on themselves puke on anything in a 6 metre radius and play in it thus spreading vomit around like the flu virus and putting pukey hand prints on unironed clothes you’ve laid out for yourself

    * your house will never be tidy. Imagine there’s an actual tornado twirling around your lounge dragging debris from your draws and under your sofa and you’re trying to pick it up and put it back but it just twirls and whirls and rips it all to pieces again

    * you wont ever be able to have a shit in peace. Not ever. The door will open and close on a loop the whole time you’re in there for a variety of reasons. The baby has fallen the cat is biting me where’s my bag

    *you’ll somehow find the time to have your hair done, promising to have it done every few months to keep on top of it. 7 months later you have 4 inches of dark root regrowth and the best you can do is put it into a pony tail looking like a crystal meth addict

    * your dressing gown will be your best friend. Its raining and the bins need taking out put your dressing gown on. Youve left something in the car from a week last Wednesday that someone really needs, put your dressing gown on. Someone really upsets you, put your dressing gown on. And so on

    * toilet roll. Youre probably best off joining Costco and bulk buying it weekly, if you don’t on day 3 you’ll be pretty sure people who don’t live here are coming in purely to wipe their arse holes

    * sleep. Now if you like sleep you’ll never get any ever again. Probably only counts if you’re the actual mother fathers don’t seem to have any trouble sleeping at all. Love them. You’ll be awake probably 5 out of the 7 hours you’re up there, finding dummys comfort blankets patting bottoms shooshing arrrrring and having little stubby fingers poked in your eyes. You finally manage to shut your eyes and some other fucker will make a god awful noise outside the door and you’ll start the whole process over again. Only for a about 7 years so don’t panic

    * laundry. Theres no such thing as a bottom of a washing basket. You’ll be utterly convinced people live in your house you’ve never met. Everyone will complain they have no clothes yet you spend 17 hours a day washing it drying it and putting it away.

    * food shopping. It cost the national debt. Dont think you’re being super clever by swapping certain brands for cheaper alternatives. The little fucking bastards can tell the difference immediately and you’re left with 36 fish fingers that no fucker will eat. Same applies to jam and peanut butter and pretty much everything else

    * leaving the house on time. Just forget it. You’ll plan to meet a friend for coffee at 11 and have to txt 36 times to put it back half an hour and by the time you’re ready its the following friday. The fleshy baby mammal will do a massive shit all up its back. It’ll puke projectile after ramming the tail of a dinosaur down its throat itll be hungry and then refuse to eat it so you offer it something else. You would have no doubt forgotten to do its fucking bottle because you’ve had a list of things to do longer than fucking schindlers

    * Don’t bother buying new furniture or new anything actually. They will fucking destroy it with sticky shit wet shit chocolate shit dinner shit and any other shit they can get their mischievous fat hands on

    * your car will resemble some kind of mobile recycling bin and if anyone else gets in they’ll subtly push the carnage aside with their feet. You will give up apologising. You either want a fucking lift or you don’t.

    Theres more but ive obviously ran out of time

    Youre welcome

    Full credit: Charlotte Blake

  • Mum Issues A Stark Warning To All Parents

    Mum issues a stark warning to all parents after her family were involved in a terrible car crash – “5-point harness car seats saved my kids lives”

    “I have been processing this for days!… A man ran a light as we were going 45 mph and crashed into us head on! There were many wonderful people that stopped. People had to pull our children out of our vehicle. I was trapped inside. I remember a lady asking me if I had 3 children…. as I was screaming “Get my babies!”

    Liam could not undo his seatbelt and the truck was covered by airbags and filled with smoke. It was hard for them to see him. He did get out. He is now dealing with issues of “mommy I was left behind!” I was pulled out to hear Alayna screaming “is my mom dead?” I was listed as critical and so was the other gentleman. He was dead on arrival and they revived him.

    I left in an ambulance as soon as Neil arrived to the scene. Then my mother in law showed up and she hopped in an ambulance with our girls and Neil went in ambulance with our boys. We had x-rays and cat scans and thank god all was good. Everyone at the ER was in shock that we were alive!

    Mum Issues A Stark Warning To All Parents
    Mum Issues A Stark Warning To All Parents

    Thank god for this vehicle that kept the entire cab in tact. Thank god I am a psycho mom who did not listen to her kid and let them ride in a booster! 5 point harness car seats saved my kids lives. Please I am begging you as a mom to really look at this. This could be you! This could be anyone! I would hate to hear about your poor innocent child that died because of a choice that you made for them that could save their life. My children beat the odds on Wednesday and we are very very lucky they are alive.

    Booster seat only once 65-100lbs and always back seat. The front seat has wrecked me as a grown adult! Do not do that to these poor growing kids! Back is always best! Do your best to protect them! We are now dealing with body image issues, soreness, nightmares, depression, sensitivity to loud noises, just not feeling like ourselves. This is heartbreaking to see the emotional toll it is taking on our babies!” – via Sarah Sutton

    Mum Issues A Stark Warning To All Parents
    Mum Issues A Stark Warning To All Parents

  • No One Believes I Was Raped And I Don’t Know What To Do

    I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of my rape for 2 months. It has been excruciating.

    I’ve been a dancer for a little over a year. I work in upscale clubs where I only provide lap dances and bottle service. At my home club (where I began dancing) I was friends with everyone because I’m not a ‘messy dancer’. (I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t sleep with my coworkers, and I don’t fight with other girls.) when I would go to work I would give a hug to everyone. I would smile at everyone. I would loan other girls anything they need and they would all greet me happily. It was a good place to work.

    A new door guy (security and someone who brings people to the club) started working there. I was just as friendly with him as any other employee. I said hello, I gave him hugs, and we chatted on slow days or when there was nothing for me to do. A couple of weeks into our friendship he was telling me how he was going to have to wait 3 hours after close for the city bus, so I offered to give him a lift. I was having a bad night, had just gone through a breakup, and for some reason I couldn’t stop crying that night. When he got in my car he rubbed my shoulder and it didn’t seem weird.

    When we got to his house I had offered to share my food with him and we sat in the driveway eating and talking. When I think back on this I remember how suddenly the topic changed to going inside. He told me his parents wouldn’t appreciate someone they didn’t know conspicuously sitting in their driveway. I had already been sharing my food so I went inside with him and after a while chatting he started making me uncomfortable.

    Before I could do anything or make a move to leave he was over me, pulling my skirt up and forcing himself on me. He brutally orally raped me and I was paralyzed to do anything. He was about 3 times my size and I couldn’t imagine how I could get away. I cried and choked and he told me to shut up “about it” repeatedly. When he was done he ushered me out and didn’t look me in my face. Afterwards he texted me saying I should come over again. I ignored every text and never said a word. I didn’t go back to work.

    Eventually I thought of the other girls around him daily and I made a call every ounce of me didn’t want to make. I called my boss and told him what happened. My boss and I had forged a friendship I thought, and I thought he would protect and care for me. Instead he said “what” and never said a word to me again. They put the man who raped me on company probation while they “investigated” what I had told them. They took his statement.

    Eventually he was let go because of the accusations. I couldn’t bring myself to work at the club I was at anymore. It made me sick to my stomach to be treated so coldly. No one asked me anything, no one spoke to me about it. Everyone I had been so friendly to wouldn’t speak to me. Soon the entire company knew about it. I started working at an affiliated club so that I could continue paying my bills and he started coming into the club I moved to. Every time I saw him I would feel panicked and leave work after having them kick him out. He hasn’t been barred completely and has come back 3 times. My heart is broken by how no one is supporting me or cares what I’ve gone through. No one believes me because I can’t provide proof it happened.

    I’ve never felt so alone in my life and I’ve never felt so disgusting and humiliated. I have no support group and I can’t bring myself to talk about it in person. Every part of me hurts.

    I don’t know what to do.

  • I Saw You But You Didn’t See Me-Biker

    I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.

    But you didn’t see me put £10 into the Poppy tin last week.

    I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the pavement.

    But you didn’t see me playing Santa at the local village hall.

    I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant.

    But you didn’t see me attending a meeting to raise more money for the disaster relief.

    I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I drove by.

    But you didn’t see me driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

    I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children.

    But you didn ‘t see me when I used my only time off work to run toys to the homeless.

    I saw you stare at my long hair.

    But you didn’t see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Cancer Research.

    I saw you roll your eyes at our leather coats and gloves.

    But you didn’t see me and my brothers and sisters donate our old coats and gloves to those that had none.

    I saw you look in fright at my tattoos.

    But you didn’t see me cry as my children where born and have their name written over and in my heart.

    I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.

    But you didn’t see me going home to be with my family.

    I saw you complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.

    But you didn’t see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.

    I saw you yelling at your kids in the car.

    But you didn’t see me pat my child’s hands, knowing he was safe behind me.

    I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.

    But you didn’t see me squeeze my wife’s leg when she told me to take the next turn.

    I saw you race down the road in the rain.

    But you didn’t see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.

    I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.

    But you didn’t see me trying to turn right.

    I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.

    But you didn’t see me leave the road.

    I saw you waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.

    But you didn’t see me. I wasn’t there.

    I saw you go home to your family.

    But you didn’t see me. Because, I died that day you cut me off.

    I WAS JUST A BIKER. A person with friends and a family. But you didn’t see me.

    Re-post this around in hopes that people will understand the biker community

  • I Nearly Lost Custody Over A Silly Mistake

    Jackie Lilley of Maldon Essex nearly lost custody of her little boy Brayli for one silly mistake.

    Brayli aged 21 months had just been picked up from nursery by his mother Jackie, 24.
    Brayli was tired and cranky but Jackie still had errands to run, the tired toddler had fallen asleep in his car seat.

    Jackie had to pick up Her medication from the local pharmacy before it closed.
    Jackie made a big mistake she decided to leave Brayli asleep in his car seat and run into the pharmacy, after all she would only be gone for a matter of minutes.

    Jackie knew he could come to no harm, he was in plain sight, strapped in his car seat and fast asleep and it was not a hot day.

    Little did she know a PCO was walking past and spotted the child, he jotted down her number plate and searched for the mother whilst radioing into report it.

    Jackie pleaded her case to the community officer and after giving him her details she was able to leave, still in shock she drove home.

    Jackie thought that was the end of it, but social services called, to check up on the welfare of Brayli, she was asked multiple questions and felt scared, she was warned not to leave her child alone in the car even for a minute.

    Although there is no written law stating what age a child can be left alone if those in power deem it unsafe or neglectful you run the risk of losing your child.

    Jackie wants to warn other parents to never leave their child in the car, even though it can be a hassle to unbuckle them or have grumpy children or temper tantrums, it is not worth the risk of losing your child or being in big trouble.

  • New Scam Risking Peoples Lives

    New Scam Risking Peoples Lives

    Police have issued a Warning mainly towards  Ladies: If you are a female, take heed! If you are male and have a significant female in your life who you care about, whether it’s your wife, your girlfriend, your daughter, your sister, your niece, your cousin, your next door neighbour; whomever…………..pass this along!

    Always, “Better safe than sorry!” A man came over and offered his services as a painter to a female putting petrol in her car and left his card. She said no, but accepted his card out of courtesy and got in her car.

    The man then got into a car driven by another gentleman. As the lady left the petrol station, she saw the men following her out at the same time. Almost immediately, she started to feel dizzy and could not catch her breath. She tried to open the window and realized that the odor was on her hand; the same hand which accepted the card from the gentleman at the petrol station.

    She then noticed the men were immediately behind her and she felt she needed to do something at that moment. She drove into the first driveway she saw and began to beep her horn repeatedly to ask for help. The men drove away but the lady still felt pretty bad for several minutes.

    Apparently, there was a substance on the card that could have seriously injured her. This drug is called ‘BURUNDANGA’ and it is used by people who wish to incapacitate a victim in order to steal from or take advantage of them. This drug is four times more dangerous than the date rape drug and is transferable on simple cards. So take heed and make sure you don’t accept cards at any given time you are alone or from someone on the streets. This applies to those making house calls and slipping you a card when they offer their services.

    PLEASE FORWARD THIS ALERT TO EVERY FEMALE/MALE YOU KNOW!!!!