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Tag: bullied

  • I AM The Child That Is Misunderstood

    Read all “I am the child that looks healthy and fine.

    I was born with ten fingers and toes.

    But something is different, somewhere in my mind,

    And what it is, nobody knows.

    I am the child that struggles in school,

    Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.

    They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try —

    But I don’t seem to know where to start.

    I am the child that won’t wear the clothes

    Which hurt me or bother my feet.

    I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells,

    And tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.

    I am the child that can’t catch the ball

    And runs with an awkward gait.

    I am the one chosen last on the team

    And I cringe as I stand there and wait.

    I am the child with whom no one will play —

    The one that gets bullied and teased’

    I try to fit in and I want to be liked,

    But nothing I do seems to please.

    I am the child that tantrums and freaks

    Over things that seem petty and trite.

    You’ll never know how I panic inside,

    When I’m lost in my anger and fright.

    I am the child that fidgets and squirms

    Though I’m told to sit still and be good.

    Do you think that I choose to be out of control?

    Don’t you know that I would if I could?

    I am the child with the broken heart

    Though I act like I don’t really care.

    Perhaps there’s a reason I’m made this way —

    Some message I’m sent to share.

    For I am the child that needs to be loved

    And accepted and valued too.

    I am the child that is misunderstood.

    I am different – but look just like you.

  • You Might Be An Autism Parent If…

    1. You might be an autism parent if you have to change the movie your child is watching 10 times in 5 mins because he wants to watch something else.

    2. You might be an autism parent if you watch the same film over and over again and don’t complain.

    3. You might be an autism parent if you get both hit and hugged within 5 seconds of each other.

    4. You might be an autism parent if you can’t wait for your child to go to school after a hectic weekend but miss ‘em minutes after school starts.

    5. You might be an autism parent if you would trade everything you have to spend just half an hour in your child’s mind to know how and what they’re thinking.

    6. You might be an autism parent if you find yourself using your child’s therapeutic coping strategies for yourself.

    7. You might be an autism parent if your blood boils every time you see a status update about an autistic child being bullied.

    8. You might be an autism parent if the definition of a clean house is now one that doesn’t have an overflowing bin, dishes in the sink are rinsed, and laundry is at least in a pile or in the basket.

    9. You might be an autism parent if your friends fade as your life is consumed with many therapists, teachers, doctors, case managers, intervention specialists and these people have no clue you almost feel like they are your new best friends because you spend so much time around them and the subject of conversation is your children.

    10. You might be an autism parent if a ‘good day’ means no one’s in the hospital, no one from the school called, no one from the police department is standing on your lawn and everyone’s sitting in one room without a problem.

    11. You might be an autism parent if someone walks into your house and asks if you live in a dangerous neighbourhood and you say no… the window locks, gate locks and three types of door locks are to keep my kid in… not bad guys out.

    12. You might be an autism parent if your blood boils and it

    touches a nerve whenever you hear a child with autism being

    called the ‘R’ word.

    Original author unknown

  • Punched, Threatened & Humiliated That Was My 9 Year Olds Reality

    Punched, threatened, excluded and humiliated; that was my daughter’s reality at just nine years old.I was sick of watching her slowly destroy my daughter. The worst thing was the lack of support. Teachers would tell me they hadn’t seen anything, everything was fine at school, or even worse, there’s nothing more we can do.

    I’d wake with waves of anxiety flooding my body. The guilt of not being able to protect my little girl was immense.She was too fearful to speak up. I began to be known as the mum who always complained.She remained quiet and well-behaved. I got angrier, exhausted and absolutely sick of being intimidated and shamed for speaking up.Thankfully the bullying went too far even by the school’s standards – there was mention of a knife being brought to school the following day. No need to explain that the very next person I spoke to wasn’t the school, wasn’t any of the professionals that had let us down for so long, I phoned the police.Would it actually have happened?

    You’d like to think not but even the child’s mum told me she wouldn’t put it past her daughter to do it just to prove a point.  Did things change after that? Yes, but it was temporary. It didn’t take long for the sleepless nights, tummy aches and anxiety to take over our lives again but it did stop eventually, and permanently this time.

    It wasn’t any one thing that made the bullying stop and it certainly wasn’t anything the school or the bully did! In a nutshell, it was just that WE had had enough, not in a tired, beaten, frustrated way but in a ‘my boundaries are rock solid and I’ll do what it takes to enforce them’ kind of way.  And in that moment of clarity was what it took to make the bullying stop.  I was beyond hoping the teachers would help. I’d lost complete faith in the adults I had entrusted my daughters care to.

    My daughter had learned the hard way that adults aren’t always there to protect you and they don’t always know best!It was Christmas Day evening. The day had been great yet come bedtime my daughter was in tears. Not because she was over excited and tired but because it had dawned on her that she was halfway through the school holidays and we were now on the decline towards the return to school. And she was scared.  

    The fear of being bullied is bad enough but to know that you’ve to face that alone because the adults who are meant to look after you aren’t, would be enough to tip anyone over the edge. Something inside of me snapped.  I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t even resentful. I was determined.I looked my daughter in the eye and gave her permission to do whatever she needed to do to make this stop. I told her she could hit back if she needed to. I told her she could scream, shout, argue with the teachers, do anything to make sure she was safe at school. And I promised her that no matter what she did, even if the teachers told her off I would back her.

    Actually, I told her it would be a good idea to really kick-off because then the teachers might call me into school, and they might start to see how terrified she really was, how much she was hurting.That was the turning point.  Looking back I think that moment was a culmination of things that resulted in my daughter realising her own strength. One reason is that I believed in her ability. She knew I really understood how much others had let her down and how unacceptable that was. She felt how determined I was and that I was completely behind her, 100%, no matter what. She felt heard, understood and ultimately I think she needed permission to not be the good girl who kept putting up with the crap because the adults around her told her she ‘just needed to ignore it’ as if she was making a big deal of nothing.

    I tell you what when your child tells you they don’t want to live their life anymore, there are no words. I only wish the teachers had taken us more seriously before it had got to that point.The good news is that we did make the bullying stop and my daughter is thriving. We learned so much from our experience, and for that I am grateful.Through our experience, I recognised the gaping hole where easily accessible, immediate advice and support should have been. So once our lives were back on track I volunteered for a bullying helpline but after 4 years I didn’t feel I was doing enough.

    I needed to provide what we had been in desperate need of, and so my business was born, supporting parents in protecting their kids from bullying.  All parents are welcome, whether their child is being bullied, has been bullied, worries about being bullied, or they are the one who is bullying.

    I never want to hear of a family so isolated and unsupported that they feel there’s just no option but to put up with it or hide. Bullying is not okay and you know what? The bystanders are just as bad as the bullies! In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”If bullying is something you worry about you can find me and other parents who understand in our free group on Facebook, The Mums Hub (https://www.facebook.com/groups/574353102769101/) , my Facebook page (www.Facebook.com/gemmaehills), or you can email me at contact@gemmahills.com.  No judgement just understanding.

  • Passion Is Never Something To Be Ashamed Of

    “My cousin, Emily, has a 10 year old son named Ryker. Ryker, who loves cats, was very excited to get his new lunchbox. Unfortunately because of its colors, or because it has cats, or both he was teased about it by other boys in his class. He even wanted to stop taking his lunch so he wouldn’t be teased about it any longer.

    I have decided, however, to stand with my little cousin and show him that a man can love whatever he wants and not be afraid to express that love.

    So I have ordered the same lunchbox for myself and proudly carried it to work today at my large, conservative, corporate workplace. I’ve told anyone who asked the story behind my lunchbox and to a person, they all stand with Ryker too.

    There’s no one way to be a man. Men can be colorful. Men can be expressive. Men can be emotional and silly and gleeful.

    I love my new lunchbox and I hope Ryker and all the other boys out there can see that their passion and self-expression is never something to be ashamed of.”

    Full credit to the amazing David Pendragon.

    If you would like to share your own story, advertise on Mums advice Facebook page or website, want to raise awareness or would like us to do so on your behalf then please send us an email to mumsadviceltd@outlook.com We also feature new and established bloggers and full credit is given

  • Please Help Me My Teenage Brother Is Suicidal

    Please can someone help me. My teenage brother is suicidal. He’s been going missing from school and sitting in woods, fields and even cemeteries, he has been hurting himself and looking n the internet of ways to end his life he is only 13.

    He doesn’t speak for days on end and sleeps whenever he can, he is always looking down at the floor and doesn’t ever smile or laugh anymore.

    He broke down in tears yesterday after he was found in a different town during school hours. He says he sits and thinks about hanging himself in the woods or drinking bleach.

    My brother has always been a shy, quiet, kind-hearted boy, never in trouble but he is fully aware of right and wrong, three months ago he saw four 14-16 year olds pushing around a young child with learning difficulties, my baby brother stepped in and told them to stop.

    This is where it all went wrong, he was targeted not just at school but via social media, soon these teenagers were spreading vicious rumours about my brother and people believed them, so even when he was at home in his bedroom he was being bullied via hs phone.

    The school is offering support and the main bullies now leave him alone but the rumours are still there from other children, they cannot punish the whole school, my mum has taken him to the doctor and she’s now going to keep him off school so she can be with him, but what else can we do? How can I support him through this? We have taken away all his electronics so he can’t see what they are saying but now we feel we are isolated him even more, we cannot move, there is no money to go else where, please help us, how do we deal with this situation it is breaking our hearts that this sweet boy is being so hurt emotionally and we don’t know how to take it away

  • My Son Is Being Punished For Being Bullied

    My son is 7 and has dyspraxia and is on the autistic spectrum, he also has an irritable bladder.

    He is a kind, smart and sensitive boy, he likes to hug people and sometimes says things he shouldn’t, he struggles to make friends as he is “different”, with his bladder he sometimes has wet patches in his trousers especially when he is stressed however teachers say he is a perfect pupil eager to please and a hard worker.

    But my boy is being bullied by this one particular girl, she says my boy is ugly because he has freckles and that he smells of wee, anything my son touches she refuses to use and tells everyone its covered in germs, she taunts him, shoves him kicks him and gets others to follow suit.

    Last month my son came home from school and got sandpaper and tried to rub his freckles off, he washes constantly and cries himself to sleep.

    As his mum I’ve been into the school and spoke to his teacher on numerous occasions even spoke to the head and this girls parents.

    My son seemed happier for a short time until 4 days before half term where this one girl chucked a rock at his eye during play time again I spoke to the school.

    The next day I asked my son had this girl been horrible to him and to my surprise he said no, I was pleased that the school had finally dealt with her.

    But I was then shocked to discover the reason why my son hadn’t been bullied was because he had been placed in isolation!!!

    The school have effectively punished my son for being a victim of bullying.

    The school can’t seem to deal with this 7-year-old girl and protect my child by keeping him on his own but this won’t help my  childs social development and he feels he has done wrong for telling on her, as his mum i want to protect him but other than pulling him out of the school completely which will be very very stressful for him as change is hard for him what on earth can I do, I feel helpless.

    I didn’t send my son back to school for the rest of the week and I’m still unsure what to do when he is due to return to school on Monday.

    What would you do in this situation?

     

  • Being A Vegetarian Ruined My Childhood

    So my parents always did what THEY thought was right, but being a vegetarian ruin my childhood.

    Now you may think ruined is a bit extreme but I genuinely feel it did, let me explain why.

    School was a nightmare whilst my friends all had tasty delights in their packed lunches or got to eat shepherd pie or lasagna from the school canteen, I was left with chick peas, a vegetarian cold pasta dish and fruit.

    Now okay that’s not completely terrible some of the meals were very tasty but as a child when friends had birthdays and brought in cakes or sweets the teacher would always have to check if I could have it, this caused me great embarrasment.

    Soon my friends began noticing how different I was, going to a friends party and having to bring my own food I soon got nicknamed “Carrot”, “Rabbit” and “freak”.

    I stopped being invited to parties, my mum was always so vocal about me being a vegetarian and soon other parents didn’t want the responsibility of monitoring me and making sure I wasn’t sneaking sausage rolls and pizza slices.

    I craved to be normal, I wanted to eat the food my friends ate, I didn’t want to read labels, I didn’t want to be different.

    I pleaded with my parents to allow me to eat normally but their beliefs were too strong.

    I found myself craving meat, and would often steal from my classmates lunch boxes, even go so far as steal from my local village store.

    My whole existence was thinking about how I could get more of the tasty delights which were forbidden, and how I could escape my family and life.

    By the time I was a teenager I was seriously depressed, self harming and my education was failing.

    At age 16 I hadn’t passed a single Gsce, I had no friends and no life, I left my parents home and slept on the streets.

    Homeless but happy, I found myself on them cold dark streets, I vowed to be a better me.

    A charity called Shelter (http://www.shelter.org.uk/ ) helped me get a bed sit, I found work and eventually found love.

    Fifteen years later I am the proud father of two, I let them make their own life choices and have never been happier.

    I rekindled my relationship with my parents for the sake of my children but I cannot forgive them for pushing their beliefs on me, so yes being a vegetarian ruined my childhood.

     

     

  • Teach Your Children Bullying Can Lead To This

    All decent parents hope their children are kind to others, even to children they may not like. But still, many children and teens (and even adults) end up victims of rude or mean comments, or even bullying.
    The consequences of bullying can be depression or  even leading to suicide or self-harm by the victim.

    Anti-bullying plea
    One mum is speaking out, pleading with parents to not only monitor the way their kids are using smartphones and tablets, but to also teach them empathy after her daughter ended up hospitalized as a result of bullying.
    In a Facebook post, she writes: “Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

    “In this age of social media, children (because they are children) think it’s ok to send hateful messages (to me also along with their parents who won’t take responsibility) without consequences. I’ve had calls from these children calling me an old hag because I’ve defended our daughter, approached parents and pleaded with them to talk with their children and ask them to stop. I’ve even approached the children themselves, but been threatened by parents with harassment.”

    The department of education in America doesn’t expel children from schools for bullying, as they say: ‘Every child is entitled to an education.’

    What about our child’s entitlement?

    She’s been sent home numerous times after self harming at school. She’s not allowed a pencil sharpener as she takes the blade out and cuts herself.

    The department of education also told me: ‘You should teach your child how to be resilient against bullies.’ Yes, they said that.

    Our girl has had a video taken of her sitting at her desk at school, legs slightly open, with a lovely caption about the smell. It was posted to snapchat. I spent 90 mins with the police as they tried to determine if it was photographing and distribution of pornographic material. Yes, a 12 year old can be prosecuted if the content breaches certain criteria. Sadly our daughter’s didn’t, but she was subjected to weeks of ridicule. Repercussions? The girl who posted the video lost her playtime. The person who took the video? Nothing, because no one would tell who it was.

    It’s ok to verbally attack at school because they can get away with it via a screen; so think the same will happen in the real world.

    Last week, we spent over 5 hours in A&E with psychiatrists, doctors and nurses, because our girl ‘had a plan to commit suicide’. On Tuesday, I am in court applying for a VRO against a 12 year old to keep her (the bully) away from our beautiful girl—all because parents don’t accept responsibility for their children and schools can only do so much.
    “Our beautiful girl has been subjected to some awful bullying at school. It’s been a very private 7 months for us, dealing with this, immediate family only.

    The school has a safety plan for the bullied child, our daughter. And the bully? She only loses break and lunch privileges. This is infant school punishment!

    Please, in this awful age of social media (or anti social media as we call it) check your children’s messages. Their devices are a privilege, nothing more, nothing less, so please make sure they are being polite and respectful in their messages. Teach the children to ‘talk’ not use text or social media to air their differences.

    Bullying affects the whole family, not just the bullied. It needs to stop and it needs to stop now! Please feel free to share.”

    She further explains that not only have parents been non-receptive to her pleas, but the school has done little to curb the problem. Her daughter has been self-harming as a result of the ongoing bullying, which often occurs through social media via smartphones.

    The problem with smartphones and social media
    The world has become a different place over the last ten years. Most kids have a smartphone— and are still learning appropriate behavior versus inappropriate behavior. It’s easier to type on a computer or into a smartphone something mean to someone than it is to say it in person.

    Hiding behind a screen can give a false sense of power over another person. Kids are not yet mature enough to consider the repercussions of saying cruel and hateful things to another person via their smartphone.
    Teens tend to gang up on one person and band together in their cruelty.

    Parents must monitor and teach children
    If your child has a smartphone and/or social media accounts, it’s your responsibility to monitor what your child is saying to other people and what is being said back. Is your child bullying someone else? Are they being bullied? If the answer is yes, you must take action to stop it. Besides bullying, there is major concerns about sexting and sending pornography in texts or through apps.

    If your child is using social media and smartphones to make bad choices, you need to work to teach them what is and is not acceptable behavior. Set up consequences and follow through. Does that mean losing smartphone privileges for a short time or longer period? Do other restrictions need to be set up? Do they need to apologize to another person for things they have said or done? Follow through and be firm.
    Empathy

    Some children naturally have empathy, others must be taught. If your child is hurting others, try asking them how they’d feel in the reverse situation— were they are on the receiving end of bullying. Try to help them see how what they say or do can affect others and how it can hurt them. Help them set up ways they can show more kindness and empathy to others outside their social circles, such as finding those who need a friend or sticking up for someone who is being bullied.