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Tag: breast feeding

  • How To Handle Seeing Women Breastfeeding

    How to handle seeing breastfeeding in the age of #MeToo

    Recently a man said something to me about not knowing what to do when he sees breastfeeding in public in this age of #MeToo.

    Yes, he was serious.

    He went on to explain that he can’t help but “notice” breastfeeding and since he’s a guy, he can’t help looking at breasts when they’re “just out there.” Or something like that.

    Yes, he knew who I was and what I do. Yes, he kept going.

    He argued that breastfeeding should always be done some place private because these days a guy is going to get “#MeToo’d” just for noticing breastfeeding and he’ll be slapped with a “sexual harassment lawsuit just for looking.”

    Yes, I educated him.

    After that exchange I decided I needed to create a simple, easy guide for those concerned about getting “MeToo’d” when they see someone breastfeeding.

    Here it is.

    Worried about someone accusing you of sexual assault because you notice them breastfeeding? Concerned that you don’t know how to handle seeing breastfeeding in the age of #MeToo? Then this guide is for you. These surefire strategies will keep you from being the next Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K., or Rupert Murdoch with these easy to follow steps and practical tips.

    1) Keep your mouth shut. You see a baby breastfeeding, just keep your mouth shut. You can smile, you can nod but if you are concerned it could turn into a #MeToo moment any second, just keep your mouth shut because apparently your are confused on what constitutes sexual harassment from say, normal decent human interaction. Also should go without saying but since you need a guide: keep your dick in your pants and don’t slip her any drugs.

    2) If, however, you want to be encouraging or supportive and you have a pretty good and clear idea of what is and isn’t sexual harassment (pretty good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t be comfortable saying it to another man, your own mother, or your own child, don’t say it AT ALL), you can say something like “you’re such a good parent.” Do not say something like “that baby sure is lucky” because that totally sounds like you wish you could be sucking on that boob instead of the baby and yes, THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

    3) Notice the baby, look at the sweet baby, don’t become lecherous trying to see boobs. Babies are adorable, we all get that. It’s ok to take a good long look at an adorable baby and nobody’s going to blame you for that. But if you start trying to see the boobies, craning your neck and staring hoping for a glimpse of titty… that the baby’s head is covering anyway… then you’re gross, cleary have issues with boundaries, and deserve whatever comes your way. #MeToo exists because of schmucks like you in the first place.

    4) Remember this: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. It really isn’t. The breastfeeding scene unfolding before you has nothing to do with you, it isn’t for your consumption, and it isn’t about you in any way shape or form. Know who it is about? The baby. So don’t act like one, grow up, and mind your own darn business.

    5) Keep your hands to yourself. Do not touch the breastfeeding pair. Personal space bubble applies to them just like anyone else. Which if this was respected more in the first place, #MeToo wouldn’t even be a thing.

    6) If you find you are unable to control yourself then just use your neck, turn your head, look away, walk away, and PLEASE, call a therapist.

    Follow these 6 simple steps and you should be totally free of any risk of the #MeToo movement coming after you based on how you handle seeing breastfeeding today.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/TheLeakyBoob/

     

  • What can be done to create conditions that make exclusive breastfeeding possible?

    I frequently receive emails from disappointed mothers asking me why it is that they were not able to breastfeed exclusively. It is true that a small number of women are unable physically to produce all the milk the baby needs no matter what they do. But in most cases, what happens during labour and birth and the first few days after the birth is directly related to mothers having difficulties.

    The mothers usually say they tried everything but it just did not work for them. They blame breastfeeding, they feel breastfeeding is not what it is promoted to be, and see breastfeeding as unreliable; often the mothers blame themselves. Nobody tells them it is not their fault and, in fact, it isn’t their fault. It is the health care system that is to blame for not creating the necessary conditions for breastfeeding to work.

    What can be done to create conditions that make exclusive breastfeeding possible?

    1. The health professionals should avoid unnecessary interventions during labour and birth. An undisturbed birth is one of the essential prerequisites for breastfeeding to happen. Today, almost all women experience at least one unnecessary intervention. In some hospitals in the affluent world almost all women in labour end up with epidurals and in the US and Canada around 40% have a caesarean section.

    2. The baby should be skin to skin with the mother immediately after the birth and this contact should not be interrupted until the baby has latched and finished breastfeeding. Babies are capable of crawling on their own to the breast and latching on without help. In many hospitals, skin to skin contact is symbolic only and lasts only 5 or 10 minutes, if that. The photo shows a mother skin to skin with her baby immediately after a caesarean section.

    3. The health professional should check the baby’s latch and provide practical help if the baby is not latched on well. If breastfeeding hurts, something is wrong, and the latch needs to be adjusted. Pain or discomfort during breastfeeding are signs that the mother needs help. Mothers should not be told that painful nipples are normal and they should just wait it out. Furthermore, a baby is less likely to get milk adequately if not latched on well. The earlier the mother gets good help, the better.

    4. Mothers need to be shown how to know the baby is actually getting milk from the breast. A baby is not receiving milk from the breast just because he has the breast in his mouth and makes sucking movements.

    5. Mothers should be provided with followup within a day or two of discharge from hospital, not in a week or two, by someone knowledgeable and experienced with helping mothers breastfeed.

    You can read more about how birthing practices may affect breastfeeding in my eBook (also available as a paperback) called Breastfeeding: Empowering Parents: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FS6K9SF

    Dr.Jack Newman

  • It’s Perfectly Ok For Your Baby To Feed More Often

    I really wish that all new mothers were told that the majority of newborns want to breastfeed much more frequently than every few hours. And many even want to stay latched on, suckling for extended periods of time. This can understandably shake a new mother’s confidence and make her second guess if she’s producing enough milk to keep her nursling satisfied. Women are usually just told that their baby should nurse ‘every 2-3 hours’, but frequent (and lengthy) nursing is a totally normal thing for newborns to do! It helps keep them close to mama while regulating her milk supply.

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    Often babies won’t have these longer stretches between feeds until they’re a little older. Even then, there are several things that could make them want to nurse more, including (but not limited to) teething, sickness, unfamiliar surroundings, or feeling tired. I can’t imagine how miserable it would be to have a fussy baby in your arms but feel like you shouldn’t breastfeed again because it’s “not time yet”.

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    This isn’t discussed often enough and new mothers need to be reassured. If baby is gaining weight, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding more often than what you’ve been told is ‘normal’. The postpartum period is all about surrendering, so cozy up with your babe and forget the clock.

    .

    Photo x @ameliahannah”

    credit: Oh Baby Nutrition

  • Women Don’t Do This It Is Gross

    I don’t care what shit I cop for this, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. Don’t like it, too bad. I may even have friends that do this, and I’m not sorry if I offend you.

    Women, don’t do this!

    It’s okay in your house, if you want, or where no one sees them, but not in a restaurant. It’s uncomfortable to look at. It is a public place devoted to food consumption.

    The truth is, I don’t agree, I don’t know what you think, but it makes me sick.

    I know that many will come out to defend it, and they will say a lot of things in their favour, but they won’t change my mind about this.

    It’s a bad habit, and it’s not hygienic! You can tell what’s been instilled in her house and it looks like it’s normal for her, as if nothing’s going on, but… don’t be putting your dirty flip flops on top of the table. It isn’t right.

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  • To The Mums Who Judge Any Of These Things

    “To the mum who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mum.

    To the mum who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mum.

    To the cloth bum mum: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mum.

    To the disposable nappy mum: Wow those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mum.

    To the mum who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mum.

    To the mum who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mum.

    To the mum who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a white bag with a big red chick on it. You’re a good mum.

    To the mum who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mum.

    To the mum with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mum.

    To the mum with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mum.

    To the mums who judge other mums for ANY of the above?

    Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.”

    Source: Unknown