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Tag: boy
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STOP FORCING YOUR CHILD TO BE SOMEONE THEY’RE NOT, BECAUSE THEY WILL GROW UP TO RESENT YOU
STOP FORCING YOUR CHILD TO BE SOMEONE THEY’RE NOT, BECAUSE THEY WILL GROW UP TO RESENT YOU Let’s address this not-so-problematic problem that keeps popping up here and there then, shall we?
Buckle up, folks, because this is going to be a long one.
Now… I consider myself a good parent I suppose – I love my children, I cook healthy meals, I clean, I educate them, I encourage them to help around the house, I make sure they know right from wrong, that they’re polite, kind and are thoughtful of other people around them.
I’ve also taught them that they can be whoever they want to be because I will love them no matter what… which is how any parent should feel, correct?
Incorrect. (Apparently)
I once (well, maybe a few times) allowed my son to dress up in pink and leave the house because he loved the colour and it made him feel good. In turn, that made me feel good that he was comfortable and happy expressing himself around me, and more importantly, he was totally okay with being himself around other people because, you know, that’s what we constantly preach to others, right?
Wrong. (Apparently)
As true as I’m writing this now, I got a truck load of shit for it and I couldn’t understand why.
“Why are you dressing him up as a girl?! You have a daughter to dress up!”
“Do you want him to grow up being confused?”
“People are going to make fun of him! You’re sick!”
Can we just get one thing straight, here?
The people and parents who behave this way are the ones damaging our children psychologically, not us.
I know this because I’ve been there.
My father wanted me to do ballet, I played football. I had to be quiet in his presence, I wasn’t allowed to express myself through fear of him being embarrassed or being punished for it.
I was bullied for most of my life because I had no voice; I didn’t know who I was then and I still don’t now… because someone I looked up to told me to keep my mouth shut because of what others would think.
I developed a personality disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder and an eating disorder because I had to be someone I wasn’t.
I was a pressure cooker waiting to explode and I’m now a product of everything my father hates which has a strain on our relationship and any other relationship I’ve ever had.
I’m ‘damaged’ so to speak.
So, back to where I was – I couldn’t give a flying fuck what my children want to leave the house as to be honest, because if they’re HAPPY then that’s all that matters.
My son has his nails painted, he wears makeup sometimes and pushes a pushchair around if he feels like it, because, actually, one day he may be a father.
You wouldn’t laugh then, would you?
He was invited to an Elves and Fairies party recently and guess what he wanted to go as?
A fairy.
Would he look at another child and laugh for how they’re expressing themselves? Absolutely not – he’d join in because I’ve taught him that we all express ourselves in different ways and that there is no right or wrong in how we dress, what we wear or what we’d like to be when we grow up because it’s how we treat people that reallycounts.
My son asked for two birthday parties this year – one where he could be himself and one where he had to pretend to be someone else because he knew other people wouldn’t ‘approve’.
I was gutted for him.
All he wanted was to have a good time – he shouldn’t be having to lie and make such grown up decisions at such a young age, just because one person had told him that “boys don’t behave that way”.
For as long as he’s with me, he can be whoever the fuck he wants and that’s not going to change. He knows that, my daughter knows that and I’ll take on anybody who disagrees.
So, to the parents who teach their children to laugh at other children, to encourage racism, hatred and snigger at others… FUCK YOU.
YOU are what’s wrong with the world.
Children don’t know hate, racism or mocking someone for being ‘different’ unless we tell them and I refuse to enforce that upon my children just because the majority of the population are uncomfortable with being different.
I know how this affects children because I was one of them – I’m sure as fucking hell never going to put my child through that.
Why would anybody want to?
Encourage your children to be different, be their number one fan, cheer them on, even if it makes you feel slightly uncomfortable because they need you to be there for them emotionally.
You are all they have and if they don’t have you, who do they have?
The Unicorn in Black
Please following the amazing writer at The unicorn in black https://m.facebook.com/theunicorninblack/
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PTSD Is Only From War- Mocking & Education
I have something that has been weighing so heavily on my mind since I heard it and I need your advice/ to get it off my chest. We recently hired an 18-year-old at my work that disclosed in his interview that he has overcome anxiety/depression and has a service dog due to PTSD.
My district manager (who is male) and store manager (female) interviewed him, then consulted with me and we ended up hiring him. He is not allowed to bring his service dog to work, as it’s in the food industry, which he is ok with. Fast forward 2 weeks into his training, they ask me how his performance is, how it’s going, etc. After giving my feedback (mostly positive), they begin to discuss amongst themselves and I overhear them actually mocking him for saying he has PTSD and “needs a dog.”
The male district manager goes on to say PTSD is something you only get from war. This infuriates me and I pipe up, doing something I have never done before, and say, “excuse me. I have never been to war and I have clinically diagnosed PTSD.” This is something I never disclose, because it’s my private business, but it’s obvious they are ignorant and could use some education. They both were utterly shocked and said, “you do?” Then the male has the audacity to ask “what I have PTSD from, ” to which I replied “none of your business, but people can get PTSD for a variety of reasons, such as being an emergency responder, being in a car crash, or a victim of violence, crime, or trauma.” This ended the conversation.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Both bosses are actually nice people, but I have never experienced that level of ignorance in my life. There are people in the world that actually think ONLY military get PTSD??? How can you be so blind to the constant trauma people endure on the news headlines every night?
How can I educate these people to actually understand what this boy, myself, and others are going through, while not stepping outside of my bounds of an employee? It’s really eating at me. I am well liked and respected there, as I have proven myself to them, but they do not give this boy much hope for a future with my company and I feel they have written him off simply because he was brave enough to disclose his battles.
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I Expect Top Care Off Staff Not My Boy Left Like This
When I leave my son in the care of the nursing staff I expect top quality care not my poor boy being left
I have just walked into my sons room and his nurse was over by his cot she realised I was behind her and scurried out only for me to see my son like this his leg twisted right behind him
For those who know my son Jacob know he can’t get himself like this because of his muscle tone it is impossible !!!!!!
He was diagnosed with dystonia 6 months ago which made him bend in half backwards however this is not dystonia as his whole body would do this if it was.
He has been out like this and left he was screaming in pain
Luckily my friend was with me to take photos as I sorted him out and comforted my distressed and in pain baby boy.
Not only did the nurse do this she also messed up his antibiotics and left a syringe attached to his tube instead of taking it away like she should.
Also a few weeks ago my friends walked In to Jacobs room to find a pillow over his face and his machine had been beeping for twenty minutes when they looked back on the review of the machine how can they be so incompetent
Yes I have been to pals yes I have spoken to the ward manager but this is not the first time something like this has happened or a fuck up on Jacobs meds, I wish I could be by his side every waking minute but that is not possible, I have no choice but to trust these trained staff but they are failing my son.
I am devastated he is a little boy who deserves the right care and no fucks ups.
What else can I do?
To follow more of Jacob’s journey take a look of their Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/thelittleboywhostolemyheart/
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Parents Need To Be Aware Of This!
Sian Rachael Ball is desperate to make other parents aware and to be vigilant and know the signs of the thing that made her son ill.
Ball said “For all other mums, I’ve worked in a few nurseries and school and have never heard of this. My son got sick on Sunday (it’s now Wednesday) he was sick and had this rash on his legs. Took him to the doctors only to be told they didn’t know what it was, probably just a skin infection, They gave him antibiotics And was told he could go back to school. Next day at school he has come out crying and had to be carried all the way home because he couldn’t walk! School forced him to sit down even when he said he was in pain! (Will be speaking to them tomorrow) took straight to the hospital and been diagnosed with henoch scholein purpura (hps) he will now have to have his kidneys tested for the next 12 months as it’s in the same category as meningitis!
Apparently more common in boys and common in the ages of 2-10 years.im posting the information as this can just happen to any child! And feel like this should be known to parents just as much as meningitis! Now have a very poorly son that has many doctors appointments to attend and off school of up to 6 weeks. but luckily we got a second opinion!
For more information look here https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/henoch-schonlein-purpura-hsp/
If you would like to raise awareness or wish to have your story or blog published email us at mumsadviceltd@outlook.com
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A Routine MRI Ended Up With My Baby Having Brain Surgery
August 2016 my beautiful little baby boy went for a routine MRI, this was to check this was to check everything was ok due to him being born early at 31 weeks and his first 3 months were touch and go.
We had expected it to be an in and out appointmen…IT WASN’T!
Before he had come around from the sedation the doctors came into the bay, pulled around the ‘sound proof curtain’ and delivered the news that my tiny baby boy had a huge build up of fluid on his brain.
A blow we were not prepared for! How do you cope with being told that the tiny baby laying in front of you has something seriously wrong with him, a baby wh no chance to live.
We had 5 months of calm our baby boy was a perfect addition to our little family and his big sisters doted on him and then it’s like everything around you shatters.
We had to prepare ourselves to watch our baby face something we knew nothing about, we had to tell our young daughters that their much-loved baby brother had a poorly head and the doctors had to make him all better, they were too young to understand but I could see they were worried.
The next day he was taken to Addenbrooks where he would spend nearly a month!
We were presented with the choice between a shunt or ETV (endosopic third ventriculostomy) a hard decision and we followed what we thought would be the best long-term solution along side the advice from his neurosurgeon.
After 3 and a half hours we got the call that our tiny baby boy was out of brain surgery.
The ETV had failed he now had a bleed on the brain, seeing him laying there with a tube coming out of his head and blood filling up the pot that it was attached was absolutely heart breaking, if I could have swapped places with him I would have.
Our daughters were amazing throughout all of this, we didn’t want to scare them and let them see their little brother with a tube coming out of his head and them not being able to pick him up but they got tearful not having him at home with them, they had moments of being sad but they kept us ‘distracted’ and helped us to keep going forward.
Our little fighter had to have an external drain to relieve the pressure and to allow the blood to clear, brain surgery 2 was 9 days into this to replace the tube and reduce the risk of infection.
It took 3 weeks for the blood to clear and then it was time for his 3rd surgery to place his shunt, he was home the next evening!!!
The shunt drains the fluid from his brain to his abdomen.
To look at you would never know he had it, it just means we have to be extra cautious with his head and any type of hit to the head could end up with him back in hospital for more surgery.
When he is poorly or sick it puts us all on edge as not only is it horrible seeing your baby ill but sickness is also a symptom of a malfunction.
As of August 2016 our boy has hydrocephalus, a chiari malfunction (the route cause of hydrocephalus)and epilepsy.. these join a list of problems he’s had to face and continues to.

Our little fighter now. But he is our little superhero! He’s battled a lot and has come such a long way.
He is always happy and such a character, your typical boy who loves cars, dinosaurs, paw patrol and being on the move non stop.
Shunts are far more common than I ever realised and they save lives, I thank my lucky stars every day for the person who invented the shunt without it our boy would not be with us today.



