Tag: belief

  • I Don’t Know How To Love The Way I Look

    I don’t know how to love the way I look.

    People say I’m negative about me but I think I’m just honest. I don’t like the way I look. My friends tell me I’m beautiful but do you really see ugly in people you care about?

    Would you ever tell someone you loved that their eyes were too small, nose too big, breasts too saggy, bum too big? I wouldn’t I don’t see any imperfections in someone I love but I see them in myself and when I’m honest about my looks and personality I’m told to shut up or to stop being negative but I don’t know how.

    I’ve always been told that I’m fat, im ugly, im dumb, im boring etc so when I’ve finally got good people I care about and who care about me with no agenda other than they like me I can’t feel better about me. I don’t feel I have someone who can help me see me in a better light or can help me learn to style my hair better or learn the elusive trick to give myself an eyeliner flick no matter how many YouTube videos I watch because I feel like my friends are bored with my attitude but I don’t know how to change it.

    I don’t have any self-confidence that got taken away from me a long time ago. I truly believe I will always be the ugly fat friend. If you have a friend like me please don’t brush off how they feel or tell them to shut up help them. Help them with clothes and make up help them to see how beautiful they really are. Help them to see that actually they are perfect. 

  • Being A Vegetarian Ruined My Childhood

    So my parents always did what THEY thought was right, but being a vegetarian ruin my childhood.

    Now you may think ruined is a bit extreme but I genuinely feel it did, let me explain why.

    School was a nightmare whilst my friends all had tasty delights in their packed lunches or got to eat shepherd pie or lasagna from the school canteen, I was left with chick peas, a vegetarian cold pasta dish and fruit.

    Now okay that’s not completely terrible some of the meals were very tasty but as a child when friends had birthdays and brought in cakes or sweets the teacher would always have to check if I could have it, this caused me great embarrasment.

    Soon my friends began noticing how different I was, going to a friends party and having to bring my own food I soon got nicknamed “Carrot”, “Rabbit” and “freak”.

    I stopped being invited to parties, my mum was always so vocal about me being a vegetarian and soon other parents didn’t want the responsibility of monitoring me and making sure I wasn’t sneaking sausage rolls and pizza slices.

    I craved to be normal, I wanted to eat the food my friends ate, I didn’t want to read labels, I didn’t want to be different.

    I pleaded with my parents to allow me to eat normally but their beliefs were too strong.

    I found myself craving meat, and would often steal from my classmates lunch boxes, even go so far as steal from my local village store.

    My whole existence was thinking about how I could get more of the tasty delights which were forbidden, and how I could escape my family and life.

    By the time I was a teenager I was seriously depressed, self harming and my education was failing.

    At age 16 I hadn’t passed a single Gsce, I had no friends and no life, I left my parents home and slept on the streets.

    Homeless but happy, I found myself on them cold dark streets, I vowed to be a better me.

    A charity called Shelter (http://www.shelter.org.uk/ ) helped me get a bed sit, I found work and eventually found love.

    Fifteen years later I am the proud father of two, I let them make their own life choices and have never been happier.

    I rekindled my relationship with my parents for the sake of my children but I cannot forgive them for pushing their beliefs on me, so yes being a vegetarian ruined my childhood.