Welcome to Mums Advice

Tag: angel

  • Forever my tiny prem, always my gorgeous boy

    Dearest little Chew,

    We let you down, I’m sorry. We should’ve argued for you louder, fought harder. This morning you woke up and you were so, so pale. The special nurse who comes when you get poorly came down, and within minutes the hallway was flooded with doctors and nurses and specialists trying to save you.

    You have a very aggressive, vicious form of bacterial meningitis that has travelled down your spinal cord and has gone into your blood – which means you’re also battling sepsis.

    We’ve had to remove your shunt and put an external drain in, you had that a few years ago and we were in hospital for 3 months. Please don’t try and pull your drain out this time, mummy can’t handle another admission like that.

    Believe me when I tell you that your team have been told exactly what they’ve done. They were so, so adamant that it was a condition rather than an infection. It could have, and still might, cost you your life. They know where they stand, and I promise you there will not be a next time.

    My heart hurts. Watching you, breathing through a tube. Broken ribs. Strung out on morphine. External drain in place, long lines and catheters. My heart is so heavy I’m practically dragging it behind me. My eyes burn from tears and my voice is croaked for shouting. I am so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve this.

    I’m not going to ask you to hold on, because that’s not fair. I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You have given this your all and I couldn’t have asked for anything else. I’m going to stay, right by your bedside. Holding your hand. Reading you stories. Keeping you cosy.

    You have done, and are doing, so well. I’m the proudest parent in the world right now, and the only person who gets credit for that is you. Rest up, my darling little hero. This is on your terms.

    I love you, more than you’ll ever have the ability to understand.

    Forever my tiny prem, always my gorgeous boy.

    Love, your broken hearted mama

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/ScarlettMayy

  • Why Did God Spend So Much Time On Woman

    WOMAN. . . . . . . . .
    When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day…….
    An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her?”
    The lord answered. “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?”
    She must function on all kinds of situations,
    She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,
    Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart,
    She must do all this with only two hands,”
    She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day”
    THE ANGEL was impressed” Just two hands…..impossible!
    And this is the standard model?”
    The Angel came closer and touched the woman”
    “But you have made her so soft, Lord”.
    “She is soft”, said the Lord,
    “But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome”
    “Can she think?” The Angel asked…
    The Lord answered. “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate”
    The Angel touched her cheeks….
    “Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her”
    “She is not leaking…it is a tear” The Lord corrected the Angel…
    “What’s it for?” Asked the Angel….. .
    The Lord said. “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”…
    This made a big impression on the Angel,
    “Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything.
    A woman is indeed marvellous”
    Lord said.”Indeed she is.
    She has strength that amazes a man.
    She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
    She holds happiness, love and opinions.
    She smiles when she feels like screaming.
    She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.
    She fights for what she believes in.
    Her love is unconditional.
    Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life”
    The Angel asked: So she is a perfect being?
    The lord replied: No. She has just one drawback
    “She often forgets what she is worth”.
    Source Unknown

  • Woman Stealing Baby Photos For Money

    Brianna Manness is at it again.

    For those of you who are new here and don’t know, Brianna stole photos of my daughter in the NICU claiming that she was her child and had passed away.

    She posted it publicly to Facebook with a NICU photo of my daughter that I had posted with her GoFundMe link. Brianna, even after being caught and reported, took it as far as creating a gofundme for funeral costs and raised about $2,500 before it was shut down.

    Not only has she faked my child’s death, she did the same to a friend of mine and her baby back home.

    Today, she is now posing as a woman named Samantha Nellen, claiming she is 20 weeks pregnant, but when asked a second time she is suddenly 32 weeks pregnant. She is asking for photos of pregnant women’s bellies, cropping their faces out, and sending them to other women as if they are photos of her.

    She has asked for photos of other women’s children as well as asking their sexuality and for full body photos of them. This woman is still so very sick in the head and has proven that she cannot be stopped when it comes to taking from and harassing other women and mothers.

    If you can find the profile Samantha Nellen as well as Brianna Manness or Brianna Dawn Manness, please REPORT both and have them shut down. She better pray that her and I never come face to face, because not only did she fake my child’s death TWICE, she’s doing so with other children and it is HORRIFYING.

    Mama’s please warn other parents and pregnant women!

    This is an old screenshot used as an example of her behavior, that she is currently still acting on to this day.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/gracelynn.willard

     

  • My Deceased Baby Is Not A Trigger Warning

    It was a few days before Senna’s first birthday. I posted about how hard it was to make cupcakes for your dead baby, attaching a picture I had already openly shared with the group before. So many people sent me encouraging words and showed me love. Then, I got the message.

    I cannot make a direct quote, but it went along the lines of: we know this is sensitive, but photos of Senna “upset” new/pregnant moms and we have had complaints, so we need to ask you to put trigger warnings on them.

    In a group I used to turn to for support, in a group that I trusted to help me through so much, I was being asked to turn my trauma inward. Instead of the priority being the fact I needed help to survive today, it was the “uncomfortable” feelings someone else experienced. I was being asked to support other people instead of receiving the life saving support I needed. It was the only place where I felt like I was really recognised as a parent, and it was ripped away from me.

    I balled on my kitchen floor while frosting whipped to perfection in my kitchen aid.

    I decided to leave the group. Even though it pained me, I didn’t want Senna or my experiences to bare the burden of a trigger warning. I wanted people to see my baby, not just all the implications and biases that come with stillbirth. I didn’t want to constantly be reminded that what I went through was so terrible, so horrendous, that other people are so uncomfortable they only think of themselves and not my needs. I felt alienated.

    When it was pointed out that pictures of live babies might be triggering to me, the admins responded with something along the lines of “this is a parenting group, that should be expected”. It didn’t matter that the raised money for me when Senna died, I didn’t want to wear the beautiful necklace they got for me anymore. It didn’t mean what it used to as soon as they said that.

    This story doesn’t end badly. The day after, I woke up to a new group. 60 or so women, just as outraged as me, followed me onto this new platform where vulnerability are valued over all else. Trigger warnings are almost nowhere to be found, and courage is abundant.

    Screw your appropriation of trigger warnings. Fuck your “safe spaces”. I want brave spaces.

    My baby, my life, my trauma, doesn’t need a trigger warning because it makes you uncomfortable. To hear my story, to see me be vulnerable is an honor. To be able to think being uncomfortable is the same thing as being triggered is a privilege.

    When you ask loss parents to add trigger warnings whenever they mention their child, or tell them they have to hide photos in the comments, you’re further alienating at-risk people and making them feel even more hopeless and alone

    When you tell people that they should expect to see live children, but that the only photos a parent will ever have of their child are too horrific to be seen, you’re perpetuating stigma and support death adverse culture.

    You’re also insinuating that trauma, and being triggered, I are same thing as being uncomfortable or disturbed which is a disservice to those who suffer from trauma disorders and turning back the clock on mental health awareness.

    Click out, scroll past, block me. But don’t put the burden of your inability to face mortality on me. Or my child.

     

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/hannahdiane93

     

  • Being Able To Hold My Angel Baby After He Grew His Wings Was Everything To Me

    On the 16th December 2018 myself and partner Gary  had the most beautiful baby boy. They named him Auley James and he was absolutely perfect In so many ways. 

    Sadly, Auley was far too precious for this life. 

    After several scans and speaking to lots of professionals the devastating words were spoken….. there was nothing more they could do. As you can imagine this was heartbreaking for Myself Gary & both families and friends.  

    Auley was then transferred from the QEUH to Robin House in Balloch to be comfortable in his final hours.  
     
    Sadly on the 31st December 2018 the most adorable angel grew his wings and set off on his new journey in heaven.  

    Robin House was the most amazing place for myself , Gary and our 3 girls.  

    Robin House is operated by CHAS which is a tremendous organisation founded over 20 years ago and has been offering full family support services to babies, children and young people with life shortening conditions. CHAS are committed to making sure that no matter how short their time together may be, it is a time filled with happiness and fun and they certainly fulfilled this for Myself , Gary and the girls during the week they stayed at Robin house. The girls had a blast and although Auley has passed it was not a problem to spend any time with him. 

    The Support Team at Robin House are second to none. The attention to detail, care and support given was amazing and this helped Myself and Gary immensely, especially having the three girls and trying to keep life as normal as possible for them. Although they knew their baby brother had gone to heaven Myself and Gary didn’t want them to think of this as a bad place and the staff in Robin House helped them achieve that.    
    You couldn’t put a price on the support, care and attention Auley received during his final hours as  well as the aftercare for Myself , Gary and the girls, so we have decided to raise money for Chas – Robin House in the hope that it will help all the other boys , girls & families at a horrible time in their life.  

    Auley touched so many peoples hearts and he will be remembered by everyone who met him in their own special way.  Myself and Gary are so proud to have had the most amazing wee warrior who fought till the very end. The wee guy will always be remembered with lots of love. 

     #AngelAuley

    Hi folks…..Myself and my partner are hosting a fundraiser in memory of our son who passed away on hogmanay this year aged 2 weeks. All money raised will be going to CHAS-Robin House which is children’s hospice for those kids with life shortening illnesses and they also provide end of life care and support not just for the child but also for the family.

    If you would like to support their cause please follow the below link

    https://www.gofundme.com/robin-house-chas?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fb_dn_cpgntopstickysmall_r

  • Killed By A Dangerous Driver Please Help Us Change The Laws

    This beautiful angel is Violet-Grace Youens, we call her an angel because she is no longer with us, she is no longer with her mummy, daddy or her baby brother…

    She was walking from school after an afternoon play with her cousins one day when she and her nana were hit by a stolen car, the driver of the car then fled the country within 3 hours of the incident, we would like to support their campaign to ensure this doesn’t happen again, or if in the event it does, the punishment will fit the crime.

    💜VIOLET-GRACE’S LAW💜

    Please help, sign and share!

    We need as many signatures as possible. The current sentence for Death by Dangerous Driving is outdated – the punishment does not fit the crime. We are petitioning for the government to act now… life sentences for Death by Dangerous Driving were discussed in parliament in autumn 2017; however, we are now in 2019 and more innocent people have been killed, and then insulted due to current sentencing guidelines. We are petitioning for Life Sentences for Death by Dangerous Driving – with a minimum tariff of 15 years (current minimum tariff for murder). Please see the petition for more detail.

    On 24th March 2017, Violet-Grace Youens was 4-years old when she was mowed down with her nan, by a stolen car that was travelling around 85mph, in a 30 mph residential area. The driver and passenger fled the scene, with the driver fleeing the country within a matter of 3 hours. He is in prison now, but as it stands he will serve half his sentence in prison and half in the community, just over 4 years in prison – meaning he will be in prison less time than Violet was on this earth.

    Violet was too poorly from her extensive injuries, and sadly passed away the next evening. Violet became a life-Saving organ donor.

    Violet’s nan has been left with life changing injuries and the driver serves his sentence for her nan the same time as Violet, rather than separately.

    We want to make the roads a safer place, no parent, or family should feel this pain – we have a life sentence without Violet-Grace.

    https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/236952

     

  • Our Beautiful Jenny- Septicaemia Awareness

    Our angel jenny

    Our beautiful baby girl jenny spent her first Xmas with her family. Her mum, dad, big sister, brother, her twin little sister and her nana. Jenny spent most of the day being very nosey. We opened gifts cooked dinner and had family time together. We had a lovely day.

    At night we all got ready for bed. Jenny spent most of the night unsettled. So she slept next to me she loved to cuddle in. The next morning jenny was still unsettled so we put this down to her being tired.

    I put jenny for a nap. When she woke at 1 I went to get her bottle. Dad cuddled her in and noticed she felt hot. So I grabbed the thermometer and checked. She had a temp or 38.9. I rang nhs 24 straight away. During the phone call I repeatedly checked Jenny’s temperature The numbers varied. Other than the temperature jenny was off her feeds that day.

    I got through to nhs 24 ran through all there questions. They said as jenny was running a temperature and was only 11 weeks. Also because she was premature they would like to see her at 5.50 that evening.

    We striped jenny down to her vest to keep her cool. And cuddled her in she was not to fussy about her bottle we just kept trying her with.

    Jenny had a nap with her twin sister that afternoon. As they did all the time. At 4.30 we were eating some dinner before jennys appointment when she woke. Our friend was here at this point to take us to jennys appointment. So he cuddled her in and talked to her. He noticed that she had a rash appearing before him on jennys face.

    I went over and had a look and could also see the rash. I went to change her bum and it was everywhere. The rate of this rash was so fast. It was spreading in front of me. Jenny had been in  her bed since 1. And there had not been one single spot until now. I did the glass test right away some of the rash would disappear and some not.

    So we went to hospital right away. Within 10 mins we had seen a doctor then were transferred to the children’s unit.

    At the children’s unit the fitted jenny with a cannula took bloods and gases. They told us looked like a bug could be a serious bug or not so serious one. They Give her antibiotics right away and some fluids. She seemed to perk up.

    I sat cuddled into her telling her everything was going be ok. The doctors had giving her medication so she would be better soon. We were put on a ward by ourselves.

    They came to check jenny 10 mins later and said that she was not responding the way they would like her to. From that point everything seemed to happen so fast. They said it looked like meningitis.

    Jenny was soon surrounded by a team of 16 doctors, nurses, consultants people from the neonatal team.

    They hooked her to all sorts of machines. Put jenny in a coma give her pain medication. They gave her x-rays to check her organs. They took over her breathing. Put her on a heated bed as they struggled to keep her warm as se could not maintain a stable temperature. That team of people worked incredibly hard to save jenny.

    We were waiting on a specialist team coming from Edinburgh to take jenny there. We were told that it looked like jenny would not make it and to try prepare for that.

    At 2.00am jenny started to crash they took turns performing cpr. They told us if some miracle they could save her. Jenny would not be the same baby girl we had. After 20 mins of cpr. The doctors advised that they could do no more for jenny. The kindest thing we could do is turn the machine of and let jenny die in our arms.

    We had minster come and bless jenny. Then 2.40 the machine was turned of. We took jenny to our private room and i held her in my arms until she died. At 2.50am the doctors came to check jenny and announced jenny had now passed away.

    Sadly after only 11 weeks and 3 days our princess had died from meningitis b and septicemia.

    Meningitis and septicemia kills. It took our beautiful baby jenny away from us so quickly.

    Please keep an eye out for symptoms you may get some or all of them. Jenny only had the temperature and was of feeds until the rash appeared. Her are the symptoms. Knowing these could save a life.

    Our Beautiful Jenny- Septicaemia Awareness
    Our Beautiful Jenny- Septicaemia Awareness

    Our Beautiful Jenny- Septicaemia Awareness
    Our Beautiful Jenny- Septicaemia Awareness

     

  • Things Not To Say To Parents After The Loss Of A Child

    Losing a child is the hardest thing a parent can go through. There are often no words to describe the pain and anguish the parent feels. As a friend, you want to reach out to them but you often feel like you don’t quite know what to say.

    Reaching out in love is the best thing you can do to help your friend who has just lost a child. Mums advice asked bereaved parents what things are better left unsaid.
    Here are eight things Things Not To Say To Parents After The Loss Of A Child:

    1. “Your child/baby/fetus that passed away recently…”
    Never refer to the child that passed away in impersonal ways. One of the biggest fears parents have is that their child will be forgotten. It is best to call the child by their name and talk about the great memories you had of him/her.
     

    2. “I just don’t know how you’re managing to hold it all together”
     Quite often  the grieving parent is just putting a face on to make it through the day. You bringing it up will often tear down the facade they have built up that day to go out and get things done. They are obviously heartbroken; you don’t need to be the one to tell them that.

    3. “Well at least you’re still young”
     The loss a baby or child is heartbreaking it doesn’t matter how young or old they are and if they can have more, no child can replace their angel baby.

    4. “He/she is in a better place”
    Often a person believes this statement, but they would rather not hear it. The parent would rather their child be here on Earth with them. It isn’t bad to bring up religion, but maybe focus on listening to the parent share how they are feeling instead.

    5. “Well what you’re going through is just like that time I….”
    Never trivialize their pain with your own story. Yes, you have pain and yes, they are feeling pain, but it probably isn’t the same pain. It is better to just listen to them share their feelings and the experience they are going through right now.

    6. “It’s been a while; maybe you should get over it”
    This is a very blunt way of saying what a lot of people think: “How are you still grieving?” or “Why haven’t you gotten over it?” Never keep a clock on someone else’s grieving. It takes us each a different amount of time to deal with pain, and it is unfair to expect everyone to overcome grief in a certain time frame. The loss a child isn’t something you just get over.

    7. Dark jokes
    Some people grieve by making terrible jokes about the situation. It is not a good idea to jump in and start making these kinds of jokes.

     8. Nothing
    Reach out in love. Not saying anything will make the parent feel alone. Ultimately, whatever you say, as long as it is said with love, the parent will feel that love.
    It is a terrible thing to lose a child, and it is important that those who have experienced this type of loss are surrounded by love. This is a hard thing to go through, and you can help erase some of that pain by reaching out with open arms.

    If you are looking for support Mums advice have a special group, where we offer love and a companionship with other parents who have also  lost their precious angel https://www.facebook.com/groups/1838309873119464/

     

  • This Family Portrait Has A Beautiful, Bittersweet Backstory

    Can someone convey unconditional love, loss, grief, hope and joy all with a single tattoo?

    That seems to be the case for a husband and wife whose backs are adorned with a matching pair of wings. A touching photo displaying their his-and-hers tattoos has gone viral—and when you hear the heartbreaking story behind the image, you’ll understand why.


    A Heartbreaking Loss

    Steven and Gloria Kimmel’s son Isaac was born in 2014. When he was just six months old, doctors diagnosed Isaac with spinal muscular atrophy. The rare, progressive genetic disorder that affects the muscles and nervous system is estimated to occur in one out of 6,000 live births.


    The Kimmels, of Kendallville, Indiana, shared details of little Isaac’s trials and triumphs on a Facebook page called Isaac’s Strength. Although doctors told them that the disorder was terminal, Isaac’s parents relished every moment with their son and even participated in a clinical trial that led to a new drug for SMA patients.


    While he did regain strength for a time, Isaac contracted a viral infection that his little body simply couldn’t fight. Sadly, Isaac passed away at just 14 months old.


    As a way of dealing with their grief, which Gloria called “unimaginable,” the Kimmels decided to have matching angel wings tattooed on their backs.

    ‘He Is Always With Us In Spirit’

    “The tattoo was meant to be his angel wings,” Gloria told Yahoo Beauty. “He was half of each of us, so we each had one of his wings to hold us. He was the angel that was holding us together when we were so lost without him. The tattoos are a reminder that he is always with us in spirit.”


    Shortly after what would have been Isaac’s third birthday, the Kimmels had cause for celebration when their daughter, Claire, was born. To share their excitement while remembering their precious son, the family had a photo taken with swaddled Claire resting on their backs, the angel wings aligned perfectly behind her.


    Gloria’s sister Grace Arend shared the photo on Twitter.


    “My sister & her husband got tattoos of angel wings after their son died 2 yrs ago,” Arend tweeted. “They had a baby girl in June. This moves me to tears.”


    Thousands of people were touched by the emotional family photo, which has been shared on Twitter over 20,000 times and liked nearly 70,000 times.


    Gloria pointed out to Yahoo! Beauty that even now, two years after losing Isaac, she is still learning new ways to cope with her grief. As anyone who has suffered a loss knows, grief doesn’t have an expiration date. For Gloria, she says support from loved ones and her church, plus grief journaling have helped. Here’s hoping the arrival of their beautiful, healthy daughter will help them heal as well.