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@mamabear.brand
Single mom with ADHD and not enough time in the world to pack myself the right boots 😂🤣 #adhd #singlemom #boots
@mamabear.brand Single mom with ADHD and not enough time in the world to pack myself the right boots 😂🤣 #adhd #singlemom #boots
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Tiktok by Mamabear Brand
My son Cameron was born with a rare genetic condition called Norrie Disease, which was discovered when he was around 8 weeks old. This means he was born completely blind and may later develop secondary symptoms.
At the age of 3 he began to lose his hearing, and now at the age of 7, he has little remaining hearing in one ear.
At the age of 5 he was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, he is non verbal has profound learning disabilities and fed through a feeding tube.
Trying to navigate a world where your child is disabled has been scary. I worried for his future and happiness. But my son has taught me about the true beauty in the world, all the things we often take for granted.
His smile lights up a whole room, and you can see the pure joy over his face from simple pleasures. Feeling the raindrops on his skin or the sunshine warming up his face. The wind blowing through his hair or the sensation of his buggy over a gravel path.
He has been through so many challenges in his little life, yet still smiles through it all. He is brave, resilient, bubbly, bouncy and a real thrill seeker. He never lets his disability hold him back.
He has changed me as a person, helping me to become better and I will always be his biggest advocate.
We have fought for many things over the years to enable him the best quality of life, and even on my darkest days I look at him and remember why I have to keep going.
If only more people saw the world through Cameron’s eyes, it really would be such a beautiful place.
Follow his journey here https://www.facebook.com/CamSmile/
ADHD might not be the answer.
According to ADHD UK 3.62% of boys and 0.85% of girls aged between 5 – 15 years old are diagnosed with ADHD. This number is on the increase. However according to recent studies the diagnosis of ADHD could in fact, be mislabelling a child.
As parents we all want the best for our children and when things become difficult we look for answers. We speak to the professionals we follow their advice and trust that they understand the problem.
What if the professionals get it wrong? What if the behaviours our children demonstrate are a manifestation of other issues?
I have taught many children diagnosed with ADHD. However new research is changing the way professionals view and diagnose this.
Since the 1990’s Doctors have been examining the effect of trauma in childhood and how it effects them in later life. They noticed a distinct similarity between the symptoms of ADHD and trauma. This has been gaining momentum as trauma awareness becomes more prevalent in schools and teachers are more knowledgeable on how we can help.
Trauma is different for every child and personal to them. It is defined as something that negatively impacts on theiremotional and mental wellbeing. It can be a separation of parents, loss of a family member, domestic abuse, bullying or something else that has a profound effect, and as we all know children all deal with this in different ways. These are called Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s).
If a child experiences more than 3 ACE’s and does not receive the right support, they are 6 times more likely to have behavioural problems (identical to those with ADHD) and grow into adulthood with more risk of heart attacks, strokes, cancer, diabetes, chronic lung disease, IBS, eating disorders, asthma, and early death.
Therefore, if not diagnosed properly children can develop lasting physical and mental health problems which can be avoided.
What does this have to do with ADHD?
According to the NHS website the signs of ADHD are:
These are the same symptoms for childhood trauma. Of course, a child is going to be angry/sad/unable to concentrate/have impulsivity issues if they are trying to make sense of the situations they have experienced, this is why professionals need to be and are starting to be more careful on what they are diagnosing.
One of the major treatments for ADHD is medication. However, when helping a child with trauma their physical symptoms are a product of a much deeper pain/need to be heard and understood. Therefore, medication is not going to help that child make sense of how they are feeling and could potentially prolong their feelings of hopelessness.
There is also the issue of Medication and the potential damage to the body long term. Recent studies have observed the effect of Ritalin on the body, and although this was carried out on prepubescent rats, they found that all of the rats taking Ritalin developed early Parkinson’s. As the NHS spends £200 million on ADHD medication each year, would we want to give this to a child who does not need it and will not help them?
Everyone experiences trauma in their childhood whether we define that as big or small. If we have a secure nurturing family most of us are able to process it and understand effectively. If a child doesn’t have the nurturing family supporting them then this is when the behaviours and feelings of being alone manifest.
It is very easy to see how misdiagnoses can happen as everyone just wants to help the child and the close link to the behaviours of ADHD means more children have been diagnosed wrong than probably should. Hopefully with more research and understanding this will not be the case for much longer.
An accurate diagnosis sooner in childhood means they have a better chance in later life. Isn’t this what every parents want their children to have? A bright future
Today I would like to speak about something that is really rather personal, but is perhaps one of the most important things that I will write and that is how I deal with my disabilities and anxiety in the workplace. For those of you who do not know me, I suffer from ADHD, OCD, Asperger’s syndrome, Tourette’s and anxiety and I currently work as a fast food cashier at a local drive-thru. I’ve been working at this place since June of 2018 where I am a full-time employee I have been very well received by both customers and the colleagues that I work alongside.
Even though there is a lot of positivity that goes my way when I am at this job, there are still things that I struggle to cope with that I would like to explore and share with you. I will not be speaking about the individual disabilities because at the end of the day, they are all parts of me that work together to create the cocktail which is maintaining balance in my life.
The first part of back to cover is the anxiety part because this creates a feeling of self-doubt and self-deprecation to the point where I do not feel like I’m working hard enough, even though my manager and my colleagues say that I’m one of the hardest workers. There was always as part of me that feels I could be completely perfect and this part of me is what drives the stress and anxiety to the point where whenever I make a mistake, compared to how other people deal with it becomes a very big deal for me. In essence, the mistake is somewhat small from the perspective of my co-workers, but to me with the perfectionistic ways that stem from the OCD, whenever something goes wrong there is a feeling of anger towards myself. There is also an element of regret because of the fact that the mistake can cause a lot of problems and can even cause stress for my colleagues. This extreme anxiety that I struggle with means that there is always a small part of me that is doubting everything that I touch and I do.
The way that I deal with the anxiety is mainly through reassurance from others because when other people tell me that I’m doing a really good job and that I’m succeeding in everything that they expect from me, it really helps calm me down. I have tried dealing with anxiety on my own without reaching out to anybody, however the problem is this particular method is that the emotions associated with that can get pent up to the point where it turns from anxiety into anger. Whenever I spoken to people when my anxiety is at it’s worst and I’ve held it in, calming me down to be one of the most difficult things possible because all of the emotions circle around my head like an endless loop to the point where even when I’m not on shift, my brain is constantly thinking about the mistakes of that day. Getting that reassurance from other people that I am doing good at my job without forcing them to say that I’m doing well, is perhaps one of the best ways I deal with it.
The other element is the disabilities side of things because if I’m absolutely honest, whenever the disabilities are at a fever pitch and I’m struggling with them, there are times when I just wish that I would never have been born with disabilities. But then I do realise something quite important, which is without the disabilities, without is the things that I have to battle against every single day, I would not be me. Who knows what I would have turned out to be and the biggest thing is would I still have the same personality, love and care that I share to all the customers at work and to my family. No most likely I would not have the same personality and perhaps I would be someone that I would never want to be. At the end of the day, even though disabilities are difficult for me to handle at work, the major thing that makes me happy to help the disabilities is that the personality and the amount of love that I have everything that I do would not be there and also the intelligence that I have regarding my job with also so potentially be absent.
Overall, anyone with disabilities can achieve anything that they want and for me working full-time being appreciated for the hard work that I do is one of the biggest successes of my life. There are days where things are unbearable and sometimes wishful thinking changes my perspective on the anxiety and the disabilities, but knowing that everyday I win the battle against these and I’m able to work a full time job to the best of my ability, that alone makes it worth it. If you take anything from today’s blog, that will be never underestimate the ability of someone with disabilities because if you give them the opportunity, you might just find someone truly special and someone who can represent the workplace in a positive way. My message for anyone who’s struggling with disabilities is that never give up because I could have easily have given up, but I have a degree and I have a full time job.
Full credit to my amazing friend and colleague Liam Piper check out his blogs at https://liampiperblog.wordpress.com/category/daily-blog/
Read all “I am the child that looks healthy and fine.
I was born with ten fingers and toes.
But something is different, somewhere in my mind,
And what it is, nobody knows.
I am the child that struggles in school,
Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.
They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try —
But I don’t seem to know where to start.
I am the child that won’t wear the clothes
Which hurt me or bother my feet.
I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells,
And tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.
I am the child that can’t catch the ball
And runs with an awkward gait.
I am the one chosen last on the team
And I cringe as I stand there and wait.
I am the child with whom no one will play —
The one that gets bullied and teased’
I try to fit in and I want to be liked,
But nothing I do seems to please.
I am the child that tantrums and freaks
Over things that seem petty and trite.
You’ll never know how I panic inside,
When I’m lost in my anger and fright.
I am the child that fidgets and squirms
Though I’m told to sit still and be good.
Do you think that I choose to be out of control?
Don’t you know that I would if I could?
I am the child with the broken heart
Though I act like I don’t really care.
Perhaps there’s a reason I’m made this way —
Some message I’m sent to share.
For I am the child that needs to be loved
And accepted and valued too.
I am the child that is misunderstood.
I am different – but look just like you.
I recently attended an autism awareness course and thought that this story was a great explanation of what masking/holding it all in whilst in school may be like. This is relevant for both autism and a.d.h.d although some triggers may vary with both from child to child with the COKE BOTTLE EFFECT…..
( Every time the child feels and holds in that stress shake the bottle accordingly)
Meet Max, Y5 pupil at Joe Average Primary.
This morning, Max had to come a different way to school ‘ cause they were digging up the road.
Because the road was closed, by the time they’d gone round the diversion, Max was late for school.
Max hates being late. He hates to walk into class when all the other children are milling about. So he waits in the cloakroom until they’ve all gone in. Mrs White said it’s ok for him to do that.
When Max steps into class, Mrs White isn’t there. There’s a stranger standing at the front with the Head teacher. Mrs White has gone on a course today and they have a substitute teacher Mrs Grey. But Max doesn’t know this because he came in late. He sits down when the Head teacher tells him to, and wonders when Mrs White will be in.
Mrs Grey announces that the class spelling test will be first. Max has been trying really hard with his spellings. He has practised them at home. Mrs Grey starts to read them out, but they’re not in the right order. Max can feel a knot in his stomach and writes out the spelling test he has learnt in the right order. Two out of ten and told he will have to try harder. He didn’t even get a smiley face and Max likes stickers.
At break time, Max goes out into the playground. He’s got an apple for snack, but as he is eating it, a girl playing chase bumps into him and it drops on the floor. One of the boys shouts “football” and kicks it across the playground… It ends up in a puddle and Max goes to get it and gets his feet wet. He hates being wet, so he goes back into class and takes his shoes and socks off.
Mrs Grey almost trips over Max, who is sitting right in the doorway of the classroom. She tells Max to either put his wet things back on or to put his pumps on. He tells Mrs Grey that it is not P.E yet it’s literacy next.
Mrs Grey glares at Max and suggests that perhaps Max would prefer to sit outside the Head’s office. Max is quite relieved about this; it’s nice and quiet in the corridor. He puts his pumps on but they don’t feel right without socks, and all he can think about is how scratchy they are on his feet.
On the way out of the classroom, he sees the girl that bumped into him in the playground. He pushes her back and she tells the teacher that he pushed her for no reason. Mrs Grey walks over to Max. She’s wearing really strong perfume and he wants to wretch. When she asks him why he is pulling faces, he says it’s because she smells. Mrs Grey marches Max down the corridor and tells the Head that Max is being naughty and very rude. Max tells her she is lying. The Head tells Max to sit there until he feels he can behave.
After half an hour outside the Head’s office, Max is feeling much calmer so he decides to go back to his classroom. Still no Mrs White. He looks round to see what he is supposed to do and sees some boys spinning their pens so he goes and watches them cause it looks interesting.
When the bell goes for lunch, Max puts his hands over his ears and runs to the classroom door to be first. Mrs Grey tells him off for pushing and makes him wait at the end of the queue. When he goes to get his lunchbox he can’t find it, it’s not with his coat where he left it.
When the Mid-day Assistant manages to calm him down, she arranges for him to have a school dinner instead. He has to sit on a different table in the hall and the smell of other peoples dinners makes him feel ill. He looks down and notices that the beans are touching the potatoes so he can’t eat that now. Dry food shouldn’t touch wet foods. Everyone is talking and the noise of cutlery and scraping of chairs is overwhelming even the playground is better than this.
Max goes back to the cloak room and lies on the floor with his coat over his head. The floor is nice and cool and he starts to feel calmer. He makes the Mid-day Assistant jump when she walks past him, and she chastices him saying ” you scared me to death Max!” Max is really worried about this because he really likes her and doesn’t want her to die, but she carries on walking as though she was ok. He follows her round the playground just to make sure.
After lunch Mrs Grey tells the class to get into pairs. Max sits on a table with two other children, and they’ve already paired up. He doesn’t know what to do… Mrs Grey asks for anyone who’s not sitting with someone to put up their hand. Max doesn’t realise she’s talking to him – he’s sitting with two people, so he doesn’t put his hand up… When Mrs Grey raises her voice and asks why he wasn’t paying attention, it all becomes a bit of a blur…and Max has no idea why he is being told off again. He wonders if it is because he made the Mid-day Assistant die. He really can’t remember what happens after that…..
The bell goes at the end of the day, and Max goes out to find his Mum.
(Have you been shaking that coke bottle throughout this story)
” Did you have a good day at school Max?” asks his Mum.
Who takes the lid off? Usually Mum/Dad!
Don’t Judge…..
You must think I cannot hear you,
You must think I cannot see,
But I am just a mum, of a child with ADHD.
You think you could parent him better,
That you could “sort him out”,
That it’s discipline he’s lacking,
And he just needs a good clout,
You do not understand or know him,
But yet you stand there and judge,
I take a deep breath and smile at you,
And hold not a grudge,
I’ve built up broad shoulders,
Become stronger than I ever thought I could,
Not a choice I consciously made,
It’s what I’ve done for love.
My child may be impulsive,
Loud and always on the go,
But there is so much more amazingness to him,
That I would love for you to know.
He doesn’t have a filter,
Or a mechanism to make him stop and think,
But It’s not his choice to behave that way,
His brains messages’ are on the blink.
He pretends to you he’s big and tough,
Causing him at times to be too rough,
To hide the hurt he keeps inside,
You don’t have to hear him cry or find he’s googled ways to die.
ADHD isn’t something made up,
To excuse behaviour or a parenting mess up,
It’s months of countless tests and appointments,
And lots of despair,
Meetings with professionals that can get too much to bear.
It breaks my heart when he cries, and asks “why me? Why can’t I be ‘normal’ and then I’ll be happy?”
He just wants to fit in,
And hates standing out,
But I tell him, “your special,
That’s what ADHD is all about,”
Don’t you think he’s aware of the things he does wrong?
And understand his class clown act, is him trying to belong?
There’s no one I know that punishes themselves more,
I don’t want him to feel that ADHD is a flaw.
You don’t see the struggles that he daily has to face,
The world to him is a heightened challenging place.
He is incredibly clever,
And so desperate for you to see,
But the sensory overload just won’t leave him be.
He has the biggest heart, and the fastest brain,
That just takes more time, nurture and understanding to train.
It’s a disability he lives with,
Just one you can’t see,
Making your lack of empathy so unjustified to me.
Full Credit Tracey Loxam
“ADHD are you kidding me, that boys just naughty, it’s a made up disease, no child in my school or when you were growing up had it, it’s purely bad parenting and lack of discipline, what that boy needs is a hard smack on the bottom”.