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Tag: Absent

  • You Have Missed Everything Daddy

    There was a time in my life that I thought you were the greatest man alive. I got pregnant with your child while we were both still children ourselves.

    I was scared, devestated and so mad at myself. You made things okay. You promised you would be there. You promised that we would make it. My first mistake was believing you. You kept your promise for awhile. You stuck by my side through the cravings, and the roller-coaster emotions, you held my hand through the delivery, you woke up with her at night, changed her diapers, worked to help support her.

    You were perfect. I was so grateful that you were there to help me, I was so grateful that our daughter had a family. Despite everything I had thought the day I took that pregnancy test, I was happy. I had my own little family and life was good. Little did I know how short lived my happiness would be. And little did I know that the person I trusted and loved so much would be the person to rob me of that happiness. When you left, I was devastated. I was devastated not for me, but for our daughter. For the little girl whose first word was dada, for the little girl who smiled so big every time you walked in a room.

    I was devastated that she wouldn’t see mommy and daddy together anymore, but I took comfort in knowing she would still have two parents who loved her, even if they weren’t together. But then you stole that from her. You walked away from her and never looked back. I would hold our baby and cry at night, wishing things could be different with her.

    With each and every day that passed with no phone calls or texts from you, no emails, no letters my sadness started to turn to anger. I was angry at you. I was angry that you left me to do it all alone. I was angry that I worked so hard but still had to stress about bills and buying diapers.

    I would get angry whenever I would see pictures of you partying on social media, without a care in the world. I was so damn angry at you. But here it is, 2 years later. I’m not angry anymore. I am so happy. Your daughter is 3 years old. You haven’t seen her for almost 2 years.

    You have never seen her blown out her 2nd and 3rd birthday candles, talk in sentences, learn her numbers and shapes or dance to her favourite songs. You missed her first day of school and her first school performance. You’ve missed everything. I guess I just want you to know that you lose. I have the greatest gift of all, the gift of child who loves me. And you will have to live with the regret of not knowing the most beautiful little girl that you helped create. And that was your choice.

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/nikitawalker97

     

  • How Can You Not See Your Children

    32 weeks no contact.

    32 weeks of missed milestones.

    32 weeks missed of growth in all kinds of ways.

    32 weeks of stress.

    32 weeks of tears.

    Missed birthdays, Christmas, hospital appointments, hospital stays, major infections, operations, school placements, fights with senco and myself.

    32 weeks.

    How can you go 32 weeks without even a second thought to two little boys who once loved you more than life itself. I forgive you for everything you did to me. I forgive you all the pain and the scars; the bad memories, the doubts, the fear, the damage.

    I forgive you. I hope the life she is providing for you is the one you needed. Because I don’t possess the ability to envy you. Even though I spend every single waking moment crying out for bedtime for some peace. I couldn’t go 32 weeks without seeing my boys. MY boys. The boys WE created. But you chose to leave behind because your hatred towards me overpowered your love for them.

    Meanwhile I’m doing my best to raise two littles into men to be proud of. I keep them safe. I may not have a £700 a week income like yourself. You may have your fancy car and your holidays, and we may only have primark’s finest for the time being and trips to Blackpool.

    But our trips to Blackpool are full of memories. Wonderful beautiful memories with people who have taken on a role without even realising. People who care more in these 32 weeks than you have ever done. Who hold so much love for those boys my heart could burst at times.

    They’re typical arsehole kids. They cause trouble wherever they go. But where as you saw them as a burden, these people see them as a world full of possibilities. They see the potential in Jace’s destructive side, they see the intelligence in Brodie’s attitude and the passion in them both because at only 4 and 2 they stand up for what they believe in.

    And as much as I always wanted that perfect family. A mummy a daddy; their babies and even a dog! I’d take my family and my team as it is right here right now any day.

    They have the BEST Male role models. They have somebody who will drop everything to see them when they ask. Rather than somebody (you) who chooses to drop hours because it’s and I quote ‘not normal to see them other than 10 hours a weekend).

    I really hope you found your peace mark. I do. At one point I loved you more than I loved myself. And regardless of the pain I’ll always hold hope that one day you’ll live a happy life.

    Because it must be so painful, to lead a life full of such regret, pain and shame.

    Credit Kayleigh Jace Jade

  • £6.77 What Could You Buy With That?

    £6.77.

    What could you buy with that?

    In the real world, the answer is “not a lot” – but in my ex’s world it’s apparently enough to provide for your child for a FULL WEEK.

    £6.77 is the exact amount of money my ex is willing to pay, per child, per week in child maintenance.

    He’s paid today and hasn’t even rounded it up to the nearest quid.

    He’s fiddled his business books so hard he’s managed to reduce his maintenance payments from £414 per month to a measly £59 per month for TWO children. 👏

    £6.77 wouldn’t even buy his Netflix subscription, or a packet of fags – yet it’s the price he’s put on feeding and clothing his first born children.

    You may be wondering how this can happen? Well, it’s a massive #CMS loophole which thousands of self employed parents are exploiting.

    Parents who own their own business can declare earnings of their choosing to HMRC – and it’s win win because a) they pay little or no income tax and b) The CMS use this figure to work out maintenance payments.

    It doesn’t work for those who are “employed” because HMRC can see true earnings for those who are PAYE and so earnings can’t be hidden.

    According to CMS, my ex declared his earnings to be £8,137 last year. If he only earned £8k, I’m a millionaire. (I’m not)

    This loophole is affecting THOUSANDS of children – why won’t anyone listen and take action?

    So I’m making it my mission to get this sorted. Watch this space and give me a wave if you are with me.

    #ihaveaplan #karma #CMS #nevergiveup #whatgoesaroundcomesaround #taxevasion

    Credit https://www.facebook.com/singlemumstillstanding/

  • Stop Using Kids As Weapons and Let Us Men Be Men

    Can’t help but notice a lot of women commenting on male suicide. So here’s my two pence, stop using your kids as weapons stop going out getting on the gear and whoring yourself out and then say we are not fit to be parents.

    Stop trying to make out that being a red blooded male is a bad thing after all without these traits the human race wouldn’t exist, stop trying to feminize us, or making us feel bad for being us.

    Stop being cheating lying gold diggers. Women have the power to completely destroy our hearts minds and souls but also heal all wounds and comfort us in our darkest times.

    It has never been harder to be a man in this strange modern world. Everyone should be able to be who they are if they are a red blooded male that’s fine if they are kind and caring that’s fine if they are more feminim than masculine that’s fine everybody should just be them and not try to live up to what tv media and women tell you how you should be.

    What the hell do you want us men to do? No matter how we act we are wrong, want us to be in our kids lives stop making it so hard for us to do so, want us to change do ya? Why? when you met us we were fine but now you wanna throw in new rules, new goal posts and then seem surprised when we walk away.

    Let us men be men, let us be who we are, shut up with your emotions and neediness

    Credit Darren Purslow

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  • Dad, Thank You For Leaving My Young Mum

    Dear Dad, Thank you dad for leaving my young mum, she was 17 when you left her, living at home with her parents my grandparents.

    You said you would always love her, you said you would support her and were so happy to become a dad.

    But you were 18 and still wanted to go out and have fun with your mates, you didn’t want the responsibility of an infant son.

    You split with my young mum, you saw me very rarely and eventually not at all.

    Dad I’m 26 now and have young of my own, thank you for leaving my mum and teaching me all the things a dad shouldn’t be, thank you dad for leaving and making my mum so strong.

    My mum may not have raised such an awesome son and wonderful father had you stayed.

    So thanks again Dad for being a role model in your own special way, your grandchildren have a father who would never leave their side, a father who understands what it is to be a man.

    Thank you Dad for leaving my young mum I’m glad you didn’t get to walk by my side and show me how little you cared, I never got to sit by the door and wonder if you would actually keep to your visit, my mum never had to make excuses for you.

    Dad from a young age I knew you weren’t coming back and for a while I questioned what I had done for you to not want me, but this was never about me this was all about your own selfish wants.

    Dad I am better than you and ultimately it’s because of you.

    I hope you’re reading this and think that I am strong, I do not want to meet you I just want you to know you were oh so wrong and you are the one who missed out.

    Thanks again dad for leaving

    Michael X