My mother should have aborted me
The statement my mother should have aborted me may shock some people, but this is how I truly feel, everyone would have been better off had I never been born.
My mum contemplated having me aborted but decided the money she would receive for my existence was worth bringing me into the world.
I was never loved nor wanted growing up, my mum could barely say my name, birthdays were non existant and love was something I did not know, pain and misery were the only things my mother ever shoe me.
My mother was a single woman but had a constant array of partners, I was raped for the first time aged around 6, and regularly throughout my childhood.
Mum would never attend my school events or show any interest in me, I would often go hungry and scavenge through bins or steal from people’s packed lunches.
My clothes were hand me downs, more like tattered rags only fit for the bottom of an old dogs bed.
School was hard, I was an outcast, a misfit, not good enough to be anyone’s friend, not academic, not sporty, not pretty, a poor loner.
By 16 I had dropped out of education which meant I was no longer a financial use for my mother, I was cast aside to fend for myself.
Homeless and scared I was a target for violence and sexual abuse yet again, eventually I was placed in a dirty bed sit, surrounded by drug users and vagrants.
I have always been unwanted, a waster, a woman of no worth.
So yes I wish I had of been aborted then my life would have not been one of misery, one of pain and one of self loathing.
I am finally at the age of 27 getting some support from my husband, I have cut of my mum completely from my life, my demons still haunt me and I suffer from depression, I am yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I do not see how I will ever recover nor a bright shining future but I will carry on this existence in the hope that one day, some how I recover enough to be able to bring life into this world and give my child the Up bringing I was never entitled to have.
If you need help please see: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ or https://www.samaritans.org/
Read similiar story here: http://mums-advice-old-copy.local/i-wish-my-son-was-never-born/